Breaking Away
by wwefaneam41
Summary: It's been 18 months since Elizabeth was released from the hospital. A lot has happened for every one. Mostly Elizabeth, will she have the nerve to tell Heath, PJ, and Stu her biggest secret of all?
1. Chapter 1

**Well, here it is. The first chapter of the sequel to Trapped. Let me know what you think of it!  
>The song in this chapter is called You Can't Break A Broken Heart by Kate Voegele<br>**

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><p><strong><em>Won't be so easy, this time to hurt me. You can try, and this time, oh baby, there are no tears left here to dry. If you think you can wound me like before, if you think you can do that anymore. Wont get to far, no. You can't break a broken heart, so try your best now baby. Try your best to break me; you can't break a broken heart. No damage you can do now, I'm immune to you now, you can't break what broke apart. There's nothing you can do to me no more. You can't break a broken heart.<em>**

I was lying on my bed in the hotel room I was in listening to music play from my laptop. I tried as hard as I could to clear my mind of the past 18 months, not trying to forget because I could never forget, but just trying to stop thinking about the reasons I had left to begin with. I didn't really want to be alone but for the first 4 months I hid out in the guest room at Matt's house. I left when I knew they weren't around to ask questions, they being Matt and Jeff. Reby and Beth didn't ask questions, but they could see why I was hiding and they let me be.

My mind wandered to the day they made me take that test. I didn't really even need to take it, I already knew the results, but they wanted to be sure. So I took it and even though the results weren't exactly planned, everything changed for me that day. I remembered the phone call to Vince, explaining what happened. When he asked me the question that I knew everyone would ask me for the next 18 years, I told him the truth then swore him to secrecy. He and I are the only people who know and I would like to keep it that way, for now anyway.

**_Hurt me before now I wont hurt no more now, not this time. You might do better messing with someone else's mind. Cause you're not gonna break me down again, you're done with doing me the way you did. It's gone too far, and you can't break a broken heart. So try you're best now baby, try your best to break me. You can't break a broken heart. No damage you can do now, I'm immune to you now. You can't break what broke apart. There's nothing you can do to me no more. You can't break a broken heart._**

The only people I kept in contact with other than Mr. McMahon, the Hardy's and their girls were Melina and John Hennigan. I wanted to know what was going on within the business without going through the head honcho. These seven are the only ones who know who all is in my life now and Vince is the only one who knows my exact location at this time. I smiled to myself, remembering the last phone call we had before I left Matt's house in Cameron.

"_Ms. Lloyd, how are you feeling?" he asked me._

"_I'm doing well, sir. How are you?" I responded slightly confused, our conversations as of late have been through email for the past few months._

"_That's good to hear. I can answer that question better after you let me convince you that you're ready to come back," he told me._

_I laughed, I should have known that was why he was calling me, and "I'm not sure sir I mean, my shoulder is healed and everything, but I'm don't think I'm ready to come back tonight."_

"_I thought you'd say that. But I have an offer you can't refuse. You will be returning at the next pay-per-view. That is in one month, I am sure that you will be healed by then. I know that it doesn't take 11 months to heal, remember I have two of my own," he joked._

"_Yes, sir. And no, it doesn't take 11 months to heal, but it takes 11 months to prepare for all of the questions everyone will ask me. It also takes 11 months to get the nerve to tell, well anyone. Especially him. I'm sorry; I am ready to be back in the ring. Matt and Jeff have been making me run the ropes every single day. And they've been making me spare with them. So, yes I will come back at the next pay-per-view," I told him._

"_Then I am fantastic," he laughed._

"_Can I ask one thing, sir?"_

"_That depends, what do you want to ask?" he said._

"_Can I be on RAW? I know that I'm hiding from them, but I'm not ready to see them everyday," I asked._

"_You do know that the three of them are going to be at the show the night you return right? The three of them are in a feud and –"_

"_I don't want to know who wins. I don't want to know about their feud. It's going to be hard enough being in the same building as them. I'm not sure how I'm going to hide from them, especially if they see my match. I'll have to literally run from the building, which is another thing. What am I going to do with her? I mean, I can't just let her sit in my locker room by herself," I told him._

"_Okay, okay. We won't talk about them. But, you do realize that you don't have to run from them, right? I mean, you could always tell them the truth, the whole truth," he said, he'd been trying to get me to tell them from the second I told him._

"_No, I can't tell them," I said simply._

"_In the past few months, you have grown stubborn little girl," he laughed, "But I must respect your decision. If you think this is the right thing to do for her, then do it."_

"_Thank you, sir. Now apparently I have to go pack. I'll see you in a month," I replied before hanging up._

I laughed to myself and shook my head. I always knew I would be back, I just didn't know when. I looked at my watch, checking the time. I had a special gym time to go over my moves.

**_So don't waste your time. Your time has come and gone. What are you here for? You can't hurt me anymore. So try your best now baby, try your best to break me. You can't break a broken heart. No damage you can do now, I'm immune to you now. You can't break what broke apart. There's nothing you can do to me no more. _****_You can't break a broken heart._**

No one knew I was going to be there except the trainers and of course, Vince McMahon himself. I stood up and began packing my gym bag. I threw on one of Jeff's hoodies that I stole and pulled the hood over my head before putting my sunglasses on. Putting my bag over my shoulder, along with the diaper bag I've had to carry around for the last 11 months, I grabbed the car seat and pulled my daughter out of the travel crib in my hotel room before laying her in the car seat and buckling her in.

"Come, PJ. It's time to go see where Momma works."


	2. Chapter 2

**The song in this chapter is called Yes Even Stars Break by The Scene Aesthetic. Let me know what you think! [:**

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><p><strong><em>Alone at last, sleeping to help ease my pain. And I take it back; you'll never be this close to me. And I breathe in deep, it helps me to avoid this state you've put me in, you put me in. Now that I can deal, with everything you've thrown at me, how does it feel to know that you could never fix the way we see the way you left us without any reasoning, without reasoning? I lay you to rest in my head, stored away to never return. I'll forget everything you left back at home, please know I'm always looking back on our scripted memories. <em>**

I walked into the hotel after a grueling three hours of sparing with PJ and Stu. It was ridiculous. I was so angry that Creative had put us in a storyline with him after everything he did. But it was either do the storyline or lose my job, the job that I loved, the job that I lived for. I couldn't give it up; honestly it was the only thing I had to live for anymore. I mean, I felt like I lost everything the day we showed up at the hospital only to find that she had left.

I looked over at PJ. He was still my best friend, but he really did lose everything. His sister was the only family he had here and he blew it. I guess that was his fault. I mean if he had just told Eliza-, her, if he had just told her about selling the barn and the house back in Cape Town, none of this would have happened. I rolled my eyes and sighed, frustrated with myself. It had been 18 months and I still couldn't bring myself to say her name. I wouldn't even be thinking about her, I had an amazing women waiting for me in my hotel room, except Stu brought her up.

**_Look at how I've grown, just see, the burdens you put on us helped guide me to see the man I was suppose to be. And he breathes in deep, helps him realize that everything in his old life's progressed. He's fine I swear and he'll confess to you, because tonight he'll find his way back home. Forget about the plans we made, I'll never let this go. I lay you to rest in my head stored away to never return. I'll forget everything you left back at home. Please know I'm always looking back on our scripted memories._**

'Casual conversation' he called it. Casual my ass, he doesn't care where she is or how she's doing. If he did then he wouldn't have hurt her in the first place. He claimed that he loved her, well that was a load of crap. He didn't love her, if he did he wouldn't have hurt her the way he did. But then, maybe that means that I didn't love her either, because I hurt her too.

"Stop thinking about her," PJ said, bringing me out of my head, "You're going to piss of Kenzie if you go in there with that look on your face."

"What look? I'm not thinking about her," I snapped.

"You are. You've got that distant look in your eyes and you're pulling your eyebrows together like you're trying to figure something out. You always get that look whenever you think about her," he told me.

I rolled my eyes. Why was he so hanky dory about this? His sister was missing, well no not missing I guess, but she wasn't here. She left us, without saying a word. Ok, well she wrote us those stupid letters, but she didn't tell us where she was. I haven't heard a thing from her since then. But I know she's all right, I've seen updated pictures of her on the website. Every time I do, I think she's coming back. But, that hasn't happened yet and I'm sure it'll never happen. Although, she did promise she'd be back, eventually, in her own time. Right?

_**Broken faith and wasted breath, photographs are all that's left. Broken faith and wasted breath, photographs are all that's left of you, of you. We've come a long way to look back on you right now. We've spent too many nights trying to find you out. We still hold close to us our memories of you, of you. I lay you to rest in my head stored away to never return. I'll forget everything you left back at home. Please know I'm always looking back on our scripted memories**. _

I guess you could say I still resent the way she left us. Just leaving, without letting us know whom she went with, where she was going to be. She told me to forget about her, but that is impossible. But I have moved on, happily even. It shocked the hell out of me when she showed up at a signing before one of our shows. The first thing she asked was if Elizab- _she,_ if she was all right. When we told her we didn't know, the look on her face told us what she was feeling. She was devastated for us and it soon grew into a friendship.

I didn't realize that I was in love with her until PJ told me. I had laughed in his face. I told him that I was still in love with his sister, that I'd always be in love with his sister. He gave me a harsh wake up call and I was mad at him for a while, but I got over it when I realized that he was right.

"_She's gone Heath," he told me, "She isn't coming back anytime soon. It's obvious you are into this girl. She told you to move on and not to wait for her. That obviously means that she doesn't want you, she doesn't want us in her life anymore. So don't let her hold you back."_

"Seriously, man. Kenzie is gonna be pissed, then she'll take it out on me. She hates when you get all wrapped up with thinking about Elizabeth," PJ said as we got into the elevator.

"Don't say her name. You know how I feel about that," I told him, punching the button to the 8th floor.

"You think that if I say her name then it's real, that she's really gone. Heath seriously. This is getting ridiculous. She's been gone for 18 months. She called me once to get the number to the account I put the money she'd been giving me for the barn and the house. Then she went and changed her number again, or hadn't even used her phone. Either way, she is gone," he all but shouted.

"I know," it was the only thing I could say. I tried my best to forget about her. And really Kenzie helped a lot. I was falling in love with her, it was nearly impossible not to. She was completely opposite what _she _was to me. Kenzie had blonde hair and green eyes that would literally sparkle anytime she smiled. She was outgoing right from the start and loved when I kissed her in public, unlike some one else who had a strict PDA rule. Kenzie didn't apologize every other time she spoke and her laugh; she could stop traffic with just her laugh alone. I felt the smile on my face grow, as the elevator got closer to the 8th floor.

"That's better. That's the Kenzie face," PJ said with a laugh. I shook my head and stepped out of the elevator, almost knocking over some idiot standing in front of the door.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

Whoever it was looked like they needed about five more hands. They had a gym bag, a diaper bag, and a car seat, which I can only imagine, held a child, a purse, and they were juggling their phone impatiently trying to get it to their ear. The person had a large zip-up Jeff Hardy sweatshirt and sunglasses. I wanted t make fun of them right then. I mean who wears sunglasses inside?

But that wasn't really what attracted my attention; it was the baby in the car seat. She looked so familiar, it was crazy. She had these crazy dark brown eyes; so dark they were almost black. And her hair was thick and dark, a beautiful mixture of brown and red. She had a goofy smile on her face that tugged at my heart. If I weren't so excited about getting back to my women I probably would have stopped to talk.

"PJ, I'll see you later," I said walking away from the elevator. I took on last look at the baby before pulling out my room key and heading inside.

"Heath!" Kenzie said as soon as I was in the room, "I thought you'd be gone longer."

"We wanted to go longer but the trainer kicked us out. Something about someone returning and it being a complete secret. Apparently the lucky person has the ring all to themselves for a few hours," I told her, "But enough about unimportant things, how does dinner sound to you?"

"That sounds like a perfect idea. Let me go get ready," she laughed before walking into the bathroom.

I sighed and flopped down on the bed. Trying as hard as I could to get _her _out of my head. It was proving harder as of late, mostly just because Stu kept bringing her up. I wanted to punch him in his face. I wish he had gotten fired when he did all of that stuff to her, but that's not what she wanted, for some reason I cannot comprehend.

Damn, I need to stop thinking about _her._ It's not like I even want to get back together with her, I mean I'm with Kenzie and I want to be with Kenzie. And I don't think about _her _all the time either. I guess I just miss her being here. I worry that she is still hurting and I wish I could make it go away. When I think about the fact that I caused her that pain that hurts even more. The last words she said to me still ring in my ears.

"_Both of you get out. I want you to leave, I don't want you here anymore."_

"_Pretty girl, we can't just leave-" Heath started._

"_Why not? You seem to have had no problem with it in the past," she told him, "No, wait. That was you telling me to leave. How does it feel? I'm not going to say it again, if you don't leave now I'll call security."_

I was such an idiot. But then again, she's the one who left us without any word. She hurt us too. Just because we hurt her does that mean hurting us in return was fair game? I don't really know anymore. I just wish I could talk to her, find out why she left us in the first place.

**_I _**_**lay you to rest in my head stored away to never return. I'll forget everything you left back at home. Please know I'm always looking back on our scripted memories**._


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the awesome reviews! Here is Chapter 3! I hope you all enjoy it!**

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><p>"Sorry."<p>

I completely froze as soon as I heard his voice. It wasn't very loud and it wasn't very kind, but I knew who it was without even having to look up. I closed my eyes while part of my brain hoped he'd recognize me and the other part prayed he didn't. I wasn't ready for him to find out yet, and definitely not as he walked out of the elevator that I was about to get on.

My phone ringing brought me out of the frozen state I was in. It was slightly difficult to get to it in the pocket of my jeans. I had my gym bag and Payson's diaper bag wrapped around my shoulder, in one hand was her car seat and her, in the other was my purse and car key. I was freaking out already and now I just looked like a complete mess. I didn't really want to answer it until Heath was gone and when I heard a hotel room door open and close, I dropped my purse and keys to the floor.

"Hello?" I asked without looking at who was calling or who was standing in the elevator in front of me, "Yeah, I am getting into the elevator right now. It's funny you should mention that, you'll never guess who just ran into me and Pay. Vince, I'm kind of running late and I don't think the elevator has great service so I'll call you when I get to the arena. Yes, I know. You've already voiced your opinion on that matter, I'll tell them when I'm ready to tell them. Yeah, sure. Bye."

I hung up my phone and went to step into the elevator, but not before I looked up into the shocked face of my brother. I gasped in shock and took a step back, hoping he didn't recognize my voice. I looked down at the floor, realizing that I'd forgotten to pick up my purse and keys. Just as I was about to set Payson's car seat down so that I could pick them up, PJ picked them up for me.

"Take the glasses and hood off," he told me and I shook my head, "You do it or I'll do it for you."

"Not here, not in the middle of the hallway. I have to get to the arena to do some stuff, do you want to come with me?" I asked him.

"Fine," he relented. I sighed as I walked into the elevator and then again when I saw PJ looking down at, well PJ.

"I guess now is probably the best time to do this," I said, pressing the button to go to the main floor of the lobby. I dropped my bags to the floor and set down Payson's car seat before unbuckling her and picking her up, "PJ, I would like you to meet your niece, Payson Jade. We've been calling her PJ because I wanted to name her after you."

He looked at the two of us, his eyes looking from me to my daughter. I couldn't quite process what he was thinking at that moment and before either of us could say anything, the elevator doors opened again. I sighed again; looking around at the predicament I'd gotten myself into. There was no way I'd be able to grabbed my bags and her car seat while I was holding her and I didn't want to make the people waiting to get on wait any longer. Thankfully, PJ grabbed the car seat and handed me my purse and gym bag while he grabbed Payson's diaper bag and held onto my keys.

"Thanks," I said quietly and we walked into the lobby. Just my luck we run into some of the Superstars and Divas, "Lovely."

"Hey PJ!" I heard someone yell from a couch, "I didn't know you had a kid. Or a Baby Mama with such a fine body."

I rolled my eyes and looked at my brother, silently hoping he wouldn't tell them who I was.

"I didn't either," PJ replied and walked towards the doors before looking at me, "What kind of car are you driving?"

"Mine," I whispered, worried that people would hear me and know that I was going to be here, "Reby and Beth drove me to Tampa about 5 months after the accident so that I could get my car and anything else I needed from my house. That's when I called you for the bank account. I knew I'd need money for this little one and I didn't want to live off Matt and Jeff."

"So that's where you've been this whole time. In Cameron," he told me as I nodded, "How old is she?'

"11 months. She was two months early and she had to stay in the hospital for two months before they'd let me take her home. It was the scariest two months of my life," I explained.

"Who is her dad?" he asked.

I ignored his question as we walked up to my car and he handed me the keys. I unlocked it and opened the trunk motioning for him to put the bags in while I buckled the car seat in the back seat before buckling little PJ in the seat. PJ got into the passenger seat while I climbed into the driver's seat and drove to the hotel. I knew he was waiting for me to answer, but I wasn't going to. That was one question I wouldn't tell anyone. The only person who knew was Vince, and that's the way I wanted it.

We sat in silence for a while, interrupted every so often by little PJ giggling every time she did I could see PJ's face fight a smile. I cleared my throat before speaking, "What have you been up to?"

"You did not just say that. Really? 'What have you been up to?' For Christ's sake, Elizabeth it's been 18 months and you want to know what I've been up to? You don't get to ask questions right now. How do you just show up after being gone for a year and a half, not tell anyone, then shove a niece in my face and not tell me who the father is? We went through hell when you left. Barbie was upset for months, and don't even get me started on Heath. How could you just up and leave like that? You didn't tell us where you went, whom you'd be with. Nothing, you told us absolutely nothing. Then you show up out of the blue, try to disguise yourself, which by the way was a terrible disguise because I knew it was you when the doors opened, and hoped to walk by us without saying a thing. Why Elizabeth? Why did you leave?" He shouted.

I looked in the rearview mirror at my daughter and frowned. She was scared, she wasn't used to people yelling.

"First, please don't yell, you're scaring PJ. Second, I don't have any way to defend what I've done. I had to get away and I knew that neither you nor Heath would let me go, I knew that you'd smother me. I left you each a letter explaining that I was okay and that I was safe. I specifically told you not to worry about me. My return is supposed to be a surprise, to everyone. The only people who know I'm here is Vince and one of the trainers, and well now you. And third, yes I do want to now what you've been up to. I heard from the grapevine that you and Barbs aren't together anymore and I wanted to know if you were alright," I told him calmly as I pulled into the parking lot of the arena and parked the car.

We got out in silence and I was surprised when PJ opened the back door and unbuckled Payson's car seat. He nodded to me and I walked around to the trunk, opening it before grabbing my bags. We walked into the arena without speaking to each other and my phone ringing again interrupted the silence. This time I looked at who was calling and laughed, shaking my head.

"Boss man," I said still laughing, "Did you really miss me that much?"

"Just making sure you haven't chickened out. You aren't planning on running back to Cameron are you?" Vince McMahon asked me.

"Vincent Kennedy McMahon, what would give you that idea? You told me I was returning, I gave you the stipulations, you agreed. Then told me to tell them, which I adamantly refused, you told me I was stubborn and I told you I'd see you in a month. Now, where in that conversation does it sound like I was going back?" I asked him.

"Elizabeth Ann Lloyd, you ran into Heath Miller on your way to the elevator and didn't say a word to him. What are you going to do when you run into him by the gorilla and he corners you? Or even more, what if you run into your brother? You know he'll recognize you no matter what you're wearing," he responded.

"How do you know him better than I do? The latter has already happened, apparently he was in the elevator with Heath and as usual I wasn't paying attention," I told him.

"He's with you right now, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"You gonna tell him? About PJ's dad?"

"No."

"Girl you are too stubborn for your own good. Get your butt to this ring and bring that little cutie with you. I'm waiting for you," he said.

"Vince, keep your mouth closed. I'm serious; I don't care how stubborn you think I am being. I'm protecting her and myself; I'll explain it to you later if you don't understand. You'd do the same thing if you were in my position," I said angrily before I hung up.

"I see you've kept in touch with everyone other than Heath, Barbie, and I," PJ said bitterly.

"No, not everyone. The only people I talked to are John and Melina. Vince is my boss; I couldn't not talk to him. There are things that I'm required to tell him that I don't have to tell you or Barbie or Heath," I told him.

"Explain something to me then. You told Vince that you were protecting your daughter," he began.

"Yes, I am protecting my daughter. She doesn't need to be caught up in the drama that revolves around Heath, Stu, and I. She's much too young to, first of all, understand and, second of all, be put through all of that," I explained with a shrug.

"So you're keeping her father from her. Remind me again how well that worked out for you. I mean, how did you cope without Dad?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for all of the reviews! I love hearing feedback! The song in this chapter is Call Me When You're Sober by Evanescence.  
>Also, I sadly do not own anyone in the WWE. I only own my OC's.<strong>

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><p><em>Don't cry to me. If you loved me you would be here with me. You want me, come find me. Make up your mind.<em>

"So you're keeping her father from her. Remind me again how well that worked out for you. I mean, how did you cope without Dad?" I asked skeptically.

I mean, seriously did she really think that letting this little girl live without her dad in her live was going to be good for her? She barely survived after Dad died and she knew him.

"You did not just say that," she spat, "First of all, you, being my brother, should support my decisions and stand by my side. Which is something that you have apparently never learned because every time I need you in my life you always, and I mean always, choose something or someone else. Secondly, my dad was stolen from me. I knew him my whole life and to go from seeing him that morning, alive and laughing, to naming him in the morgue is a tad bit traumatizing if you ask me. Third, my daughter will have someone taking care of her. I didn't, I've been alone since the day Dad died and I was thirteen. And last but probably the most important, the very second that Stu even hears about me having a child he'd start something and you know it. So yes, I am keeping her from her father because her well being is more important than anything else has ever been."

_Should I let you fall? Lose it all? So maybe you can remember yourself. Can't keep believing, we're only deceiving ourselves. And I'm sick of the lies, and you're too late. Don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. You want me, come find me. Make up your mind._

"So Stu is her father," I said.

"I didn't say that. Whether she is Heath's or Stu's doesn't matter because either way he'll have a fit. If she's Heath's then he'll hurt me, if she's his then he'll try to take her away from me and that is never going to happen," she told me as we walked towards the ring.

"If she is Heath's then let him have a relationship with his daughter. We can protect you from Stu. It's your fault he's still working here anyway," I shot at her.

_Couldn't take the blame, sick with shame. Must be exhausting to lose your own game. Selfishly hated, no wonder you're jaded. You can't play the victim this time, and you're too late. Don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. You want me, come find me. Make up your mind._

Elizabeth stopped in her tracks and if she weren't still wearing the sunglasses I would probably see her eyes start to tear up. I pushed her too far this time. Why am I arguing with her right now? This is the first time I've seen her or spoken with her in over a year, why am I ruining it? Just as she was about to say something, we were interrupted.

"So, PJ Lloyd. How does it feel to have your sister back with us?" Vince McMahon asked from the middle of the ring.

"He doesn't care," Elizabeth answered for me before taking Payson, car seat and all, out of my hands and placing it on the side of the ring. She unbuckled her and pulled her out, setting her in the ring where Vince picked her up.

"And how do you feel about having a niece?"

"I'd feel better if I knew who the father was," I muttered under my breath.

"And I'd feel better if you even acted like you cared," Elizabeth muttered back. When I looked up confused she continued talking, "You once told me that you had to learn to listen better when I was younger because I would always talk under my breath instead of talking to you. Well guess what, you're not the only person who did it."

_You never call me when you're sober. You only want me cause it's over, it's over. How could I have burned in paradise? How could I- you were never mine._

"Can we continue this argument later please? Elizabeth you have some things to work on for your match tomorrow night and Paul needs to spend some time with his niece," Vince said climbing out of the ring, still holding Payson.

When he handed her to me, I felt a surge of pride. This little girl was my blood, she was my family. I finally had family again and it felt good. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as she studied my facial features. And again when she lightly touched my face, her little hands memorizing every little detail. She returned my smile with a goofy, toothless grin and I heard a laugh from behind me. When I turned around, I saw my sister watching us intently. This is what she wanted earlier, she wanted me to be happy that they were here, and she wanted me to accept them both.

"She's beautiful," I told Elizabeth, "Just like her Mama."

Elizabeth nodded at me and when she took off the sunglasses I could see the tears making their way down her cheeks. She wiped them with the sleeve of her sweatshirt before taking that off as well. When I saw her hair, I gasped.

"You colored you're hair," I stated.

She laughed slightly, "Yeah. It was a spur of the moment thing. My last night in Cameron and Jeff wanted to do something spontaneous, which means I now have blue streaks in my hair. Vince was not pleased at first, but when I told him it matched my ring attire he approved."

"It looks good," I replied.

She nodded her thanks again before turning and beginning her session. I decided that I'd take Payson for a walk around the arena while Elizabeth was sparing. I figured they'd be at it for about an hour, they couldn't quite work anything out since she wasn't working with the other girl in her match. My guess was it was the Diva's Battle Royal for the Championship.

"Let's go see what kind of trouble you and I can get into," I told the little girl in my arms, "But first things first. Let me get a good look at you."

I set her down on the floor in the middle of the hallway before sitting directly in front of her. Her eyes were such a dark brown that they were almost black. Her hair, while having a touch of red in it was mostly brown, and had the Lloyd thickness to it. She was small for 11 months, but I figured that was due to be being premature. If she was two months early, that meant she should only be 9 months old.

As I stood up from my inspection, I realized something that I hadn't when I first saw Elizabeth and little PJ at the hotel. I realized that, even though PJ wasn't my daughter, I would do absolutely anything for this little girl. I would protect her from anything that might harm her, absolutely anything. If I had to I would be the overprotective uncle, I would be the dad she wouldn't have. I realized that I would be there for Elizabeth whenever she needed a break, a shoulder to cry on, and a helping hand. I would be there.

_So don't cry to me. If you loved me, you would be here with me. Don't lie to me. Just get your things; I've made up your mind._


	5. Chapter 5

**The song in this chapter is Between You And I by Every Avenue. I don't own anyone in the WWE, I only own my OC's**

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><p><em>Would you believe me if I said I was sorry? The question wasn't meant to hurt, it was just my fear of losing you. And now you're filling the space that surrounds you. I'll soon be tucked away underneath your bed, where you gave yourself to me. Where I gave myself to you.<em>

I finished with the trainer and decided to hop in the shower before finding out where PJ had taken off with my little girl. I think this is the longest I've gone without having her by my side since she was born. Part of me feels free and the other part thinks it's weird. I wanted to take my time showering but I couldn't stand being away from her any longer. As I got dressed my mind wandered to Heath, I thought about how I was going to tell him. I mean, PJ had a valid point, every girl needs her dad. I smiled as I pictured Payson's eyes and how much they resembled Heath's, it was like looking at a picture. Then her hair, she had the perfect mix of mine and Heath's, and of course the thickness came from me. I think that is the only thing she truly got from me, every other part of her looks like Heath. I'm not sure how PJ didn't realize it earlier, how Heath didn't realize it when he got off the elevator. I mean, when I look at my daughter the only thing I see is her daddy. That makes me happy, most of the time.

And then I remember that I will have to deal with Stu. That frightens me the most, I think. What will he do when he finds out that I have a daughter? What will he do if he finds out she isn't his? Will he try to hurt me? Will he try to hurt her? I'll kill him if he touches her, I promise it. She is the most important thing in my life and I will protect her no matter what.

I sighed as I left the locker room and started my search. Like earlier, I wore a pair of jeans and a Hardy Boyz t-shirt with Jeff's zip up over top. The hood was pulled over my head and my sunglasses were covering my eyes. I knew that if anyone would have seen my eyes, they would have recognized me right away. I finally found my brother in catering, he was talking to someone with little PJ on his hip. It looked so natural to me, like he had been doing it since the day she was born. Seeing them together only showed me again how small she was. It scared me but the doctors assured me that they wouldn't have let her leave the hospital 9 months ago if there was anything wrong with her.

_Maybe it's all for the best, but I just don't see any good in this, no. maybe we'll find something better, but the lovers that leave us will always hold a place._

As I approached catering I realized that they weren't the only ones in there and a knot immediately formed in my stomach. I couldn't go in there. What if someone recognized me? What if someone asked me a question? I couldn't talk, they'd recognize my accent right away. So I did the only thing that I could think of, I started jumping up and down, waving my arms. I knew I looked crazy but I had to get his attention.

"Why don't you go in there and get him instead of acting like a fool out here?" someone behind me asked.

I froze, I knew that voice, I dreamt about that voice. Then PJ saw me, set Payson on the floor and pointed to me. The smile on her face got even larger as she took of running towards me. I couldn't help but laugh when she started tripping over her own feet. She slowed down to catch her balance again then took off running again.

"Mama," she said, jumping into my arms. I laughed as I twirled her around, forgetting that anyone was standing behind me, well now next to me and I'd somehow missed the gasp that escaped their lips.

I stopped laughed and spinning when he spoke again, "Elizabeth."

_Maybe it was wrong of me to think I could keep you. And maybe it's the last few drinks taking over my mouth and all I've been thinking. I want you to know that I am fine here without out, but I can't bring myself to lie to you. And since we're being honest I should tell you, I've been filling up the empty space between you and I. between you and I, she could never compare to you. Between you and I, I still keep your pictures underneath my bed, where she gives herself to me. Where I give myself to you._

Everything froze, for probably the millionth time that day as I turned around to face him.

_Maybe it's all for the best, but I just don't see any good in this, no. maybe we'll find something better but the lovers that leave us will always hold the place._

"Yes," I asked that's when I realized he wasn't alone. The women standing next to him looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't tell you where I knew her from. Apparently she doesn't like me too much though, from the glare on her face I'd say she dislikes me.

"When did you come back?" he asked. Beating around the bush like usual, I wanted to say. He was never one to get straight to the point, and he probably never would be.

"I haven't yet. My official return is tomorrow night, but it's kind of suppose to be a secret," I said quietly, "I've got to go. I guess I'll see you around."

He only nodded as I walked towards the closest exit. I held Payson close to me, feeling tears prick my eyes. This was going to be harder than I had thought. I mean, talking to my brother was one thing, but talking to everyone else would be different. I was glad that I'd chosen to put my bags and PJ's car seat in the car before going to find the two PJ's in my life. My subconscious knew that I'd have to make a quick getaway. I'm just glad he didn't ask about Payson, I don't know if I could have answered that question.

As I buckled PJ in the car, I heard someone walking up to us. When I looked up I let out the breath I was holding, it was only my brother. I gave him a weak smile as he took the keys from my hand and hopped in the drivers seat, signaling for me to get into the passenger's seat. I lied my head back against the seat as he pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic. I kept asking myself the same question I'd asked since the second I'd gotten into my car as I left Matt's house. Could I do this? Could I really deal with seeing everyone again, with them asking questions, prying into my life, wondering who PJ's father was? Was I strong enough to go through with it? Was I putting myself in danger, putting my daughter in danger? As if my brother could sense my worries, he grabbed my hand.

"Everything is going to be all right, Bee," he assured me, "I'll be here for you and little PJ whenever you need anything, I promise. Now, I know you must be hungry after your work out so lets go find somewhere to eat."

"Somewhere no one will recognize me, preferably. When Vince finds out I ran into him, he's going to be up my ass with questions," I laughed, "Mostly it'll be 'Elizabeth did you tell him he was the father of the beautiful little girl of yours?' and when I tell him no he'll say 'Little girl, you've gotten stubborn over the last few months. You should tell him and your brother too. They have a right to no.' Then when I tell him no again, he'll shake his head at me."

PJ laughed with me before turning serious, "So, when are you going to tell me that my best friend has a daughter? And more importantly, when are you going to tell Heath that he has a daughter?"

_Maybe it's all for the best, I just don't see any good in this, no. maybe we'll find something better, but the lovers that leave us will always hold the place. Yeah the lovers that leave us will always hold the place._


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is Chapter 6. I wasn't going to post anything tonight, but I had a sudden urge to write. The song is Black Dahlia by Hollywood Undead. And yet again, I sadly don't own any one in the WWE no matter how much I would love to... a girl can dream!**

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><p><em>I loved you, you made me hate me. You gave me, hate see? It saved and these tears are deadly. You feel that? I rip back, every time you tried to steal that. You feel bad? You feel sad? I'm sorry, hell no fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your night. This strife it dies, this life and these lies. These lungs have sung this song for too long. And it's true I hurt too, remember I loved you.<em>

I'm smiling, I mean a real smile. It was the weirdest feeling because for the past 11 months the only thing that could make me smile like this was my daughter and seeing as how she is with Stephanie and Paul, it feels out of place. But I realized why I'm smiling like a fool, it's because I finally feel like I'm home again.

I was hiding in a corner as I watched the other Diva's walk down the ramp. I wasn't nervous, only excited. I was going to be in a tag team match with Barbie, of all people, against Maryse and Victoria. None of them knew that I was going to be there, no one except Vince was suppose to know but Heath and PJ know too. Maryse and Victoria walked out together, it was great to see them go into their heel persona. When Barbie walked out as Kelly Kelly my excitement grew.

Maryse laughed as Kelly Kelly got in the ring, "I told you Alicia. I knew she couldn't find a partner. No one would want to be on a team with a loser."

"You think you're real funny don't ya, Maryse? Well, it just so happens that I do have a partner. In fact, it's a returning Diva," Kelly Kelly sneered.

Black Dahlia by Hollywood Undead played loudly through the arena. I waited for the chorus to hit before walking through the gorilla.

_I've lost it all, fell today, it's all the same. I'm sorry, oh. I'm sorry, no. I've been abused, I feel so used, because of you. I'm sorry, oh. I'm sorry, no._

The crowd popped when they recognized me which only helped my own excitement. The look on the faces of my friends in the ring were simply priceless as I stood at the top of the ramp, just taking in the scene around me. I looked back to the ring and saw Maryse and Alicia Fox hiding their excitement quite well by acting like raging lunatics. They were suppose to be angry that I was back.

I ran to the ring and slid under the bottom rope. Once again, I paused to take in my surroundings. It felt surreal, I was finally back in the ring, I was finally back home. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Kelly Kelly. My smile grew when I saw the tears in her eyes that she was fighting to keep from falling down her cheeks. I laughed as she pulled me into a hug.

"It's good to have you back, Bee," she whispered in my ear.

"It's good to be back. There's someone I want you to meet when we're done," I whispered back.

She nodded as she released me and put on her Kayfabe, "I told you I had someone," she said in the mic before dropping it to the ground. We made eye contact and nodded at each other. Then we attacked Maryse and Alicia.

The match went on for another ten minutes before Kelly Kelly pinned Alicia. When her music played, I jumped in the ring and we met in the middle for another hug.

"And the winners of this match Eliza Gabriel and Kelly Kelly!" Justin Roberts announced.

We walked up the ramp, arms wrapped around each others waist. I stopped us at the top of the ramp and turned around.

"I'm home," I said to Barbie.

"Yes you are."

_I wish I could have quite you. I wish I never missed you, and told you that I loved you every time I fucked you. The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through. Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew. How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you, it was never enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck, now I'm just fucked up. Pull up my sleeves and see the patterns of my cuts._

I managed to escape down one of the many hallways in this arena with Barbie hot on my trail. I was heading to Steph's office when I saw him. I stopped and turned the other way before he could see me. I completely bolted, I didn't want him to put a damper on my first night back.

"Bee, where are we going?" Barbie huffed from beside me. I'd come to a stop at my private dressing room that was away from everyone else.

"I was going to bring you to meet someone, but I couldn't- I mean, when I saw him, I paniacked. I had to get away," I explained as I tried to catch my breath.

"Who all knew about your return? I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you're back and everything. It's just that I know there are some people who aren't very happy with you," she told me.

"Well, until yesterday, Vince was the only one who knew. I was hoping to keep it that way, especially when I literally ran into Heath at the hotel yesterday. He was getting out of the elevator as I was trying to get in, but I had my hands full. I answered my phone after he shut is hotel room door without looking at who was still standing in the elevator. It was PJ," I said as I went through yesterdays events without mentioning little PJ.

"Holy cow! That is so crazy," Barbie exclaimed. I laughed at her excitement. Until now, I'd completely forgotten how great it felt to be around my true friends. "So who is this person you keep mentioning that you want me to meet?"

"Let me call Steph and tell her to come to my room. I don't think telling you without them being here is fair," I told her as I pulled out my phone, "I'm going to get changed quick too. So if you want to meet me back here in like 20 minutes?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan. What if I see Heath, PJ, or Stu?" she asked me.

"Lie. You have no clue where I am," I told her. She nodded her understanding as she left my locker room.

_I've lost it all, fell today, it's all the same. I'm sorry, oh. I'm sorry, no. I've been abused I feel so used, because of you. I'm sorry, oh. I'm sorry, no._

I was still on the fence about whether to tell Heath or not. I knew he had every right to know about Payson and I understand PJ's point about her needing her father in her life. I was just scared. I wasn't sure how Heath would react, I didn't want him to turn her away like I did to him. It's not even about me, I'm not good enough for Heath, I can't make him happy and I've accepted that. I heard that he's moved on and I don't want to come between that, I just want him to be happy. This is about my daughter, she doesn't deserve him to hate her because of me, she didn't do anything wrong. I can only hope that he sees that.

Then there was the whole Stu issue. I know that he wont hurt her, he wont come near her, knowing that she isn't his. However, he will come after me and that scares me even more. But I am going to be on RAW, they are on SmackDown and wont be with me all the time either, only at super shows and pay-per-views. Then again, he did somehow manage to attack me with a bulletproof alibi.

I honestly don't have a clue about what to do. Vince keeps telling me to tell Heath, that he deserves to know. And that's true, but I don't want to hurt my daughter by having to tell her that her father doesn't want her. I'd rather tell her that her father doesn't know about her. That wouldn't hurt as bad and there is no way that I would lie to her and tell her something else.

_Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest. And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound. Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest. And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down._

A knock at my door brought me out of my thoughts, "It's just me and Steph, Liz," I heard Paul call from the other side.

I smiled as I walked to the door and opened it. I needed to see my little girl, she could answer my questions for me. She'd know what to do.

"Thank you so much for watching her during my match," I said as I let them in before receiving a giant hug from little PJ.

"It was no problem, the girls loved having her around," Steph told me.

I looked at my daughter and took a deep breath, "Pay, I have to ask you a very serious question okay?" Paul snorted in the corner and I glared at him. I waited for Payson to nod before I continued, "Now, I have been fighting with myself since the day I found out that I was having you with this and I just can't figure out what to do," the look on her face was so serious, as if she understood everything that I was saying, "I don't know if I should tell your dad that he is your dad. I mean, I don't want him rejecting you because of what I did. So what do you think baby? Should we tell him?"

Just then, the monitor in my dressing room showed a picture of Heath, announcing the triple threat match between Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, and Wade Barrett. When Heath's picture was on the screen Payson pointed to it and said, "Dada."

I knew right then that I had to tell him. She wanted him to know, heck she even knew.

"Yeah, baby. Daddy," I said with tears in my eyes.

_I've lost it all, fell today, it's all the same. I'm sorry, oh. I'm sorry, no. I've been abused, I feel so used because of you. I'm sorry, oh. I'm sorry, no._


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to update. I've had a crazy last few days, but it's up! Thank you so much for all of your reviews!**

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><p>"You've shown her pictures of him before?" a stunned Paul Levesque asked.<p>

I looked up and remembered that I wasn't alone in the room. I shook my head as the tears started to fall. I couldn't keep this from Heath, not if PJ knew without even knowing.

"Wow." That's all Steph could say, she was speechless.

"She's intuitive," I said, mostly to myself and the other two nodded.

We stood in silence for a few more minutes before there was another knock at the door. Paul opened it and Barbie came in, her jaw hit the floor when she saw me holding PJ.

"She looks familiar," Barbie said when she finally got over her shock, "I mean, she looks like three people," I nodded, hoping she'd continue, "She looks like you and PJ."

"She should. I mean, I am the female version of PJ, just with blue eyes. And she is my daughter," I explained. I thought she was going to faint when I said that last part.

"Your- you have a daughter? Since when? And why is this the first I've met her?" she asked.

"Well, she was born 11 months ago. And this is the first any one has met her really. Except Matt, Jeff, Reby, and Beth. They were all at the hospital for the birth and the two months we spent there," I told her.

"So, you were two months pregnant when you left? Is that why you left? Why didn't you tell anyone? We would have helped you," she practically yelled.

"No, I was barely two weeks pregnant when I left and I had her two months early. I didn't know that I was pregnant when I left. And I needed to be away from this place, these people," I said, trying to answer her questions.

"Wow, these people? Thanks for making it feel like we have a disease or something," Barbie scoffed. I rolled my eyes, always the drama queen.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that I didn't want to have to constantly look over my shoulder wondering if I was going to be attacked. I didn't want to walk around on eggshells, just waiting until I set someone off. I didn't feel like I had anywhere else to go. You would have just made me talk to PJ. PJ would have smothered me, Heath would ignore me or sleep with me just to get some, and Stu would have hurt me. Drew would have made me talk to PJ and Heath. I just didn't want to talk, I didn't want to have to explain everything. I didn't want to get yelled at for apologizing. I wanted to feel free to live," I responded before changing subjects, "You said she looked like three people, but only said PJ and I. Who else does she look like?'

"Her eyes, they are too dark to look like PJ's. And that obviously rules out yours. I'm not positively sure, but I know I've seen them before," she thought out loud.

"You've seen them before, many times."

She gasped when she finally recognized them, "Heath! She looks like Heath!"

I nodded slightly. I was still unsure about telling everyone else before telling Heath. I mean, it's not fair if everyone around him knows that he has a daughter but he doesn't know himself. I took a deep breath before answering.

"Yeah, she does. Can you keep this to yourself for the time being? I kind of need to tell him still. I'm planning on doing it tonight, especially after what happened before you came in here, but I need to be the one to tell him about her," I pleaded.

"You haven't told him yet?" she yelled again and I shrugged, "Do you not think he deserves to know that he has a daughter? Why would you keep him from her? That's not fair to her either, keeping her away from her father. Do you not remember what you went through when you lost your dad?"

"First of all, you don't know what I went through when I lost my dad. Second, I lost my dad. I saw him every day and then it just stopped. He wasn't there anymore. Heath has never been around and has never tried to be around. Yes I know that it's not fair to either of them, but I was trying to protect myself and my daughter. Do you not remember what Stu did to me? I don't want that for my daughter and when I was first pregnant we didn't positively know that Heath was the dad, it could have been Stu. If it was, I wouldn't have come back, I would have stayed gone," I yelled back, "Don't think this has been easy for me because it hasn't been. It's been the hardest thing to be away from the people I loved the most and to be keeping such a huge secret from you all. But it had to be done, I've changed a lot in the last 18 months and I did it by myself without people smothering me left and right."

Barbie just blinked when I was done with my speech. I could tell she knew that she over stepped the boundary when she mentioned my dad. She was trying to figure out a way to apologize, her eyes filled with regret at what she'd said. I understood though, she was trying to make a point. It wasn't the right thing to say or the way to say it, but she wasn't trying to hurt me when she said it either.

"I didn't mean it like that," she said quietly. I just nodded.

One thing I realized when I was gone is that you can't fully give yourself to another person without getting hurt. I wasn't planning on getting hurt ever again, I was never going to give myself to anyone. I would only ever truly love one man but I knew in my heart that I wasn't good enough for him, I'd hurt him too many times and I was about to hurt him once more. I wasn't sure how he'd respond, in my dream life he'd be excited and run back to me, but this was reality and reality never quite worked out the way your dreams did.

"Let's start over," I suggested, "Barbie, I would like you to meet my daughter. Her name is Payson Jade. Matt and Jeff nicknamed her PJ."

"She is beautiful," Barbie told me, "Ya did good babe."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me," I responded.

"And she is amazingly smart," Steph said, "Just before you came in here, there was a picture of Heath on the monitor and she pointed right to it and said 'Dada'. It was amazing."

"She's never seen a picture of him before or anything. She saw him for about five seconds yesterday but I don't think she even got a good look at him," I explained.

"Wow, that is crazy!" Barbie exclaimed. I nodded and looked at my shoulder where little PJ had just laid her head. Her eyes were fluttering and I knew that she would be asleep in less than ten minutes.

"I think it's time for us to go," I told Paul, Steph, and Barbie, "Hopefully, on the way we'll see Heath and PJ. I'll tell him then."

They helped me pack up my gym bag and the diaper bag, Paul even offered to carry them for me. We left my dressing room and walked towards the busier part of the arena. I knew that the dressing room Heath and PJ were in was down the same hallway mine was just closer to every one else because I saw it when I arrived earlier. Just before we got there the door opened and the two men walked out. I had to fight a smile and the hope that I'd ever be with Heath again. I knew that I would never love anyone other than him, and I'd accepted that. He gave me a beautiful daughter and I could never thank him enough for that. They turned toward us and I could tell that PJ was about to shout something so I shushed him quickly.

"She's sleeping," I explained and he nodded.

"How does it feel? To be back I mean," he asked quietly.

Now was the time to smile, "It feels like I'm home."

I tried my hardest not to, but my eyes drifted to Heath. He wasn't looking at us, or even paying attention for that matter, he was looking towards the door of the room they'd just left and when I followed his line of vision I saw the women he was with last night. I racked my brain trying to remember how I knew her but I came up empty. I cleared my throat before talking again.

"Heath?" I asked causing him to look at me finally, "I, um, was wondering if I could, uh, maybe talk to you for a minute, alone?"

"You can't talk to me here?" he asked with a hint of anger in his tone.

"Not really," I said, "It's kind of important."

"In a minute," he said before look back at the women by the door, "First there is something Kenzie and I need to tell you. Well, really we just need to tell Barbie, PJ, Paul, and Steph, but since Elizabeth is here I guess she can hear it too."

I looked down to the floor while fighting with myself to keep my composure. The way he talked, as if he didn't want me around hurt. But I had to remind myself that he had every right to be upset with me, he had every right to not want me around. I did that, I made him hate me, I didn't have any right to be upset about it.

"We're getting married!" the blonde shouted excitedly.


	8. Chapter 8

**There are three different songs in this chapter, just because only certain parts of the song felt like they fit. They show is this order: 'Wounded' by Chase Coy. 'Beauty In The Breakdown' by The Scene Asthetic. and 'The Last Song Ever' by Secondhand Serenade.  
>Thank you for the reviews! They keep me wanting to write!<strong>

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><p><em>You're words are full of honesty, the kind I breath, the kind that cuts me deep. And I am grasping for air, I'm gasping for air now. Yesterday feels like a fresh wound still I insist it's just a flesh wound.<em>

Amongst the non-stop smiles and congratulations, I managed to get my bags out of Paul's hands and sneak away. There was no way I could tell Heath now, not when he was so happy, that's all I've ever wanted. The only person who noticed was PJ and I knew that he'd follow me after saying his piece. I walked as fast as I could to the nearest exit and as soon as I walked out I was lost. It took me a good ten minutes to finally find my car and by the time I made it there, PJ was waiting.

"Bee?" he asked. I just shook my head, it was the first time he'd called me that since I'd come back and I knew it was just because he thought I was hurting. Truthfully, I was numb now. For about ten seconds after the announcement everything hurt. I was sure that if I felt that pain for much longer I was going to scream. Then after those ten seconds I stopped feeling anything.

"Do you want to talk about it? Ask me any questions about her? Anything?"

"No. he's happy, I can tell. That's honestly the only thing I want. It doesn't matter to me if I'm happy anymore. The only person I care about now is Payson, she's my life now. I can't spend my time being upset because the only man I'll ever love is marrying someone else," I told him, "It's my fault, I hurt myself this time so I have no right to be upset."

"You're different," PJ stated after I buckled little PJ into her car seat and got into the driver seat.

"I know," I shrugged. We drove to the hotel in silence, no music, no talking. When we got there PJ grabbed Payson and I grabbed my bags, walking to my room again, in silence.

"Why?" he asked when we were in my room. I looked at him confused. "Why are you different? Why did you change?"

"i had to," I answered simply then sighed and explained, "I was on my own and I needed to take care of myself. I refused to let Jeff and Matt take care of me. Ever since I was little I've had someone taking care of me, protecting me. It was time to take care of myself. Then when I found out I was pregnant, I realized that I needed to take care of myself so that I could take care of my baby. She's the only thing that mattered to me. Then when she got here, I spent two months in the hospital with her. They were afraid she wasn't going to make it. When I got out, I refused to let any one help me take care of her. She was my daughter and no one else. I wouldn't let them help if they woke up in the middle of the night when they heard her cry. Eventually the stopped offering and let me do my thing. It's all I've ever wanted."

he nodded as if he understood, but I could tell he didn't. I couldn't explain it to him any more than that. Taking care of myself and Payson was the only explanation I could give him.

_Come on, take a step towards me, so you can figure me out. I've been hoping and praying for a single way to show you what I'm all about. And I know, and I know this is the only way of pleasing the crowds. But when this is over and done with and we walk away their should be no doubts._

"But why change everything? I miss my sister," he said softly.

"I didn't change everything. I changed my weaknesses and made them strengths. I still have weaknesses, but I refuse to show them to anyone but myself and my daughter. I'm not perfect and she'll learn that as she grows up but I'm going to try my hardest to be the best mother to her. I'm not going to let her down and I'm never going to leave her," I told him.

Suddenly, I realized that this was the first time we've actually talked about me since he caught me. That alone made me want to stop talking, I don't like talking about myself anymore, I don't want to be open and share my feelings with everyone else. I wanted people to believe I was happy, even if my life didn't turn out exactly the way I wanted it.

"What about you?" I asked him, "What have you done differently in the past 18 months?"

"Well, I got dumped," he said bitterly.

"Why?"

"Because I was telling my best friend that his girlfriend wasn't coming back anytime soon. I told him that he should move on like she told him to do. Barbs didn't like that and got mad at me. We got in a huge argument about it and when I told her that it didn't matter because you weren't coming back she broke up with me," he shrugged.

"Please tell me you're kidding," I said when he shook his head I felt guilty, "PJ, I am so sorry. I never meant to cause an argument between you two."

"Ya know what?" he laughed, "That is the first time I've heard you apologize since I ran into you in the elevator yesterday." I shrugged and he laughed again, "It's not a big deal. I mean, I loved her and everything, but she couldn't understand why I was so nonchalant about you leaving. She couldn't understand that I had to be, I had to act as if I didn't care that you were gone because if I cared I would have turned the world upside down until I found you. Although, I don't think I would have thought to look in Cameron."

I laughed, "Yeah, that's why I went there. I knew it'd be the last place you'd think I would go to. And I knew that they wouldn't baby me, they'd let me do what I needed to do. It was nice especially when I first got there, they didn't make me talk about anything. I could tell that it was killing them but they just let me breath. Beth was really the only one who asked me about what happened for the first month or so. I finally told her that when I was ready to talk about it, she'd be the first person I went to. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I needed to talk to someone and she was there. She didn't tell Matt or Jeff because she knew that I would do it when I was ready." I stopped and realized that I was rambling, "Anyway, what else did you do? Any new love interests?"

"Nothing really. I worked out a lot and got a pretty big push. No love interests, although Kenzie has been trying to hook me up with one of her nurse friends," he laughed.

That's when it came back to me. Kenzie was short for Mackenzie and Mackenzie was my nurse for that week I was in the coma. Mackenzie was a _nurse_. When I was in the coma, Stu said that Heath would be taken care of by a _nurse._ It all made sense now, the two things Stu told me had come true. I hurt Heath, by leaving him, but he was going to be taken care of by a nurse. I never thought it'd be my nurse who was taking care of him.

_I wish my life was this song, cause songs they never die. I could write for years and years, and never have to cry. I'd show you how I feel, without saying a word. I could wrap up both our hearts, I know it sounds absurd. And I saw the tears on your face, I shot you down. And I slammed the door but couldn't make a sound. So please stay sweet my dear, don't hate me now. I can't tell how this last song ends._

"Are you going to do it?" I asked, bringing myself out of my thoughts.

He shrugged, "I'm not really sure. I mean, I'm busy and on the road most of the time. I don't have time to be in a committed relationship with someone who isn't on the road with me."

I nodded, and then yawned making him laugh, "I suppose I should leave and let you get some sleep."

"You can stay here, if you want. I mean, it'd be nice if you would. I've missed you a lot," I said nervously.

"I'll stay."

I sighed in relief when he joined me on the bed. "If this is too weird for you, I can always ask for a cot," I told him.

"Bee, we've been doing this since you were a baby. I haven't seen you in 18 months and I want to make sure that you arent going to disappear on me again," he joked but got serious when he saw that I wasn't laughing, "Too soon?"

"Just a bit," I admitted. I knew that I chose to leave but I didnt want to come back and have it thrown at me every time I turned around. I understood that he was joking, but a part of me was still worried that everyone would hate me for leaving.


	9. Chapter 9

**The song in this chapter is 'Words I Never Said' by Lupe Fiasco ft. Skylar Grey. It's an amazing song, I suggest that you listen to the full thing. Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy!  
>Sadly, I don't own anyone in the WWE, I only own Elizabeth and Little PJ.<strong>

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><p><em><strong>I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence. Fear is such a weak emotion that's why I despise it. We scared of almost everything, afraid to even tell the truth. So scared of what you think of me, I'm scared of even telling you. Sometimes I'm like the only person I feel safe to tell it to. I'm locked inside a cell in me, I know that there's a jail in you. Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few. My screams is finally getting free, my thoughts is finally yelling through.<strong>_

I woke up this morning feeling totally alone. I wasn't sure what it was, maybe because neither PJ's were where they were when I feel asleep last night. I was the only person in the room and almost started to panic when I saw that the travel crib was empty. I rolled over and saw a note on the nightstand.

_I took the little one with me, figured you could sleep in a bit. I'll pick something up for breakfast on our way back. _

I put the piece of paper back down and lay on my back, looking up at the ceiling. So many thoughts raced through my mind that I couldn't make sense of any of them. Most of them had to do with telling Heath about little PJ and some of them were about what Stu would do when he found out about her. I was surprised that he hadn't come looking for me last night. But maybe he's grown out of the whole hurt Elizabeth stage of his life, I could only hope.

I decided it was time to get my butt in gear and hopped in the shower. I wanted to take my time but just as I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair I heard a knock on the door.

"Just a minute," I yelled as loud as I could. I hopped out right away and wrapped a large towel around my body before opening the door.

"Elizabeth," he said as he pushed the door open and let himself in.

My mind went into panic mode for the second time this morning when he slammed the door shut and pulled me away from it. I looked up into his dark green eyes and didn't like what I saw at all. He was mad and he looked more scary than he ever has before. I looked at the door then back at him, trying to judge if I could slip past him and make it to the door before he caught me, but my planning was cut short when he stepped closer to me, blocking my vision of the door.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

"You know what I want," he responded, his English accent thick with anger.

"No."

"No what? No you don't know what I want? Or, no you wont give me what I want?" he asked.

"Both. I don't know what you want and I'm not going to give you what you want," I told him, feeling more confidence than before.

He laughed as if I'd told a joke before crossing over to me in two strides. I backed away, feeling that confidence disappear. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be alone. I wanted my brother and my daughter to be here with me, not this monster. _The monster that I made_, I reminded myself.

"All this time and you still haven't learned. It's quite sad really. You don't get to make up the rules, you never will be able to make up the rules. I will always get what I want no matter what you say. So this is how it's going to work, you are going to get back together with me. It's not like you have anyone else to be with, after all Heath is marrying that blonde, who is a lot prettier than you I might add. No one else wants you Elizabeth, no one else will ever want you. Especially not with extra baggage," he told me. My eyes widened with fear. How did he know about her?

"What are you talking about?" I finally got out, "And if she's so much prettier than I am then why don't you get with her? I don't want to be with you."

"I don't want to be with her. You make it easy for me to want you, she is interested in Heath and that just makes me cringe on the inside. You, however, left him and that leaves you wide open for me. And, I'm talking about your daughter. Payson is it? She's surprisingly quite cute," he shrugged.

"No. you don't know what you're talking about. I- you- no!" I couldn't put my thoughts together and he knew that I was afraid.

His face lit up with a sick smile as he ignored my denial, "So, this is what you're going to do. You're going to tell everyone that she is my daughter and you are going to agree to marry me. Got it?"

"No. I'm not going to tell anyone that she is your daughter. And there is no way in hell that I am going to marry you," I all but yelled.

"Do not raise your voice to me. You are going to do this because you don't want to know the consequences if you don't agree to it," he said then looked me up and down, "Now, I feel like you are either not covered up enough or you're wearing too much. How about we fix that?"

"Don't touch me Stu," I shouted as he stepped closer and reached for the towel that I was gripping tightly.

I shouldn't have yelled, I realized that as his eyes went from playful anger to hateful anger. I tried to turn around and run away but he moved quickly, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me against his chest. My heart beat quickened and I could barely breath. This wasn't happening again, there is no way that this was going to happen again. I pushed him with all of my strength but he used that momentum against me as he fell onto the bed pulling me down with him. He flipped us over faster than I could blink and held me down against the bed. He put all of his weight on my hips as he sat up and pulled his shirt off. I struggled underneath him but his sick smile only grew. As soon as his fingers reached the edge of the towel I closed my eyes as tight as I could, trying to block out everything that was happening.

When the cold air I was prepared for never came, I felt his weight disappear and I opened my eyes to see my brother standing over him. PJ was punching and kicking him wherever he could touch him. I tried not to but I whimpered loudly causing PJ to turn and look at me. He turned back to Stu, glaring at him.

"Get out of here and don't you ever come near her or my niece ever again," PJ told him in a threatening tone.

As soon as Stu walked out of the door I broke down. I couldn't stop the tears no matter how hard I tried. PJ came over to the bed, pulling me up to sit, and held me against his chest. He didn't say anything for a moment, just let me cry.

"It's going to be okay, Bee. You need to pull yourself together, think about PJ," he told me, "You don't want her to see you like this do you?"

I shook my head, "Where is she?"

"Um, about that. I went out to breakfast with a friend and brought her with me. This, um, friend was very interested in PJ and might have asked who her parents where," PJ responded, he was nervous about something.

"What friend?" No answer. "PJ? What friend?" I asked a little louder. Again, he didn't answer me. I started to get frustrated when he stood up from the bed and walked over to my suitcase, pulling a pair of sweats out of it and throwing them at me.

"Put these on," he told me, "They're waiting outside the room. We didn't want little PJ to see what was going on."

I did what he said before asking again, "PJ what friend? Did you tell them that Heath is her dad?"

Just as I said that, PJ opened the door, "No but you just did."

I couldn't swallow when I saw my daughter being held by a man who looked just like her. My eyes had to be the size of the moon and I didn't know what to say. I tried to move my mouth but the words wouldn't come out. It was as if my brain had shut down for the day.

Little PJ broke the uncomfortable silence when she said, "Ook mama. Dada!" and pointed to Heath.

_**It's so loud, inside my head with words that I should have said. As I drown in my regrets, I can't take back the words I never said.**_


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it took so long. My computer was being all jacked up yesterday when I was trying to post this. But I finally got it! I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p>"I think we need to talk," I said, looking from the little girl in my arms to her mother.<p>

Elizabeth nodded and I was about to start my interrogation when she interrupted, "I agree, but I think there is someone else who needs to be here," when I looked at her questioningly she took a deep breath, "If you're going to get married then she is going to end up wondering why my daughter is calling you daddy. She is going to be around just as much as you are so I think she needs to be here for this conversation."

I was totally shocked. I didn't think that Elizabeth would want Kenzie any where near our daughter. But PJ did tell me that she was different. It was my turn to nod this time.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to talk but closed it quickly. It was as if she wasn't sure how to say whatever it was that she wanted to. She looked torn between telling me and keeping it to herself.

"Just spit it out, Bee," PJ said from the other side of the room. Honestly, I'd forgotten that he was even in here.

"Please don't hate her," Elizabeth blurted out, "I mean, hate me all you want, I can handle that. But PJ is completely innocent. She didn't do anything wrong. Please don't turn her away because of the things I've done."

I didn't know how to respond to that. Did she really think that little of me? Did she really think I would turn away my daughter just because her mother is a selfish bitch? Apparently she never really knew me, and I guess I didn't know her all that well either.

"Let's go to my room. Kenzie should be awake," I said, walking out of the door.

I knew they were following me because little PJ was looking over my shoulder and kept saying "Mama! Dada!" over and over again. I had so many questions to ask but I knew that my fiancé needed to be in this conversation too.

When I got to my room, Elizabeth took PJ out of my arms so that I could talk to Kenzie alone for a minute. I let myself get a quick look at her face. Just before I went inside I turned to Elizabeth and said, "I wont hold it against her."

She looked so relieved when I told her that. The relief on her face brought back the hurt that I felt when she asked me not to. I mean, why would she think that I would turn my own child away? I shook my head as I went into my room. Everything felt so weird right now. My ex-girlfriend was back, my best friends sister was back, and I found out that I now have a daughter. Nothing is making any sense.

"Kenzie," I said when I walked into the room.

"In the bathroom. I'm almost done," she called out.

I smiled when she walked out. She was beautiful inside and out and I had truly fallen in love with her. She walked over to me and hugged me. I knew that she was the woman I wanted to marry and be with for the rest of my life, but now I had to break the news to her.

"Kenz," I started, I wasn't sure how to say that I had a daughter.

"Babe, what's wrong?" she asked.

"I don't really know if something's wrong, I just have something to tell you and I need you to not freak out," I told her, the look on her face told me she was nervous but she motioned for me to continue, "Well, remember how Elizabeth is back?"

"Yeah," she said hesitantly.

"And remember you were asking me about the little girl we saw her with both times?"

"Yeah? Heath where are you going with this? If you have something to tell me just tell me, don't beat around the bush," she told me impatiently. I had to laugh; I knew that she would tell me to get to the point.

"Well PJ and I went out to breakfast this morning and he brought her with him. He said that she was Elizabeth's daughter but he wouldn't tell me who her father was. Then when we got back to the hotel he wanted to check on Elizabeth because he didn't have a very good feeling. So I stayed out in the hallway with the little girl while he went into her room. It turns out that Stu was in there and he was trying to attack Elizabeth again. Then-"

"Oh my gosh. Is she all right? He didn't hurt her right? Please tell me that PJ got there in time," she interrupted. I didn't know that she would be worried about Elizabeth, but it made me happy that she was, it would make telling her that much easier.

"Yeah, well I don't know, I mean we didn't really talk about if she was okay. Ugh, that isn't the important part of this," I said exasperated, "After PJ kicked Stu out, Elizabeth asked where her daughter was and he told her that she was out in the hallway then when he opened the door she said 'you didn't tell them that Heath is her father right?'" I stopped talking to gage Kenzie's reaction.

Her jaw dropped to the floor and I could tell that her brain was trying to figure out the questions that I didn't know yet.

"Now, please don't freak out. I don't really know anything and I was going to ask Elizabeth questions but she told me that she thought you needed to be here for the answers because if we are getting married then you are going to be around my daughter just as much as I am and I agreed. They are right outside the door and she really wants to talk to you," I said.

I could tell that Kenzie was trying to get over the shock of me having a kid in the first place. I didn't know what to do so I just walked over to the door and let Elizabeth in with my daughter and PJ. The only thing I really knew about her was that they called her PJ, which confused me to no end.

"Elizabeth, this is my fiancé Mackenzie Taylor. Kenzie, this is PJ's sister Elizabeth Lloyd," I said, I didn't know if Elizabeth would remember Kenzie because she was so out of it when she was in the hospital.

"Heath, Mackenzie," Elizabeth started but Kenzie interrupted her.

"Please, call me Kenzie," she said and Elizabeth smiled.

"Kenzie, this is my daughter, Heath's daughter, Payson," Elizabeth said. I took a deep breath at the familiar name and I was surprised that Elizabeth remembered it. "She is 11 months old. And her birthday is in three weeks, on the 25th of December. Which if you ask me, is kinda a sucky birthday because it's not like you get to celebrate both holidays. It's all wrapped in one, I mean, I guess I could double up on the presents but she doesn't get a separate day to open birthday presents and Christmas presents, it's all one day. And I'm rambling so I'll stop talking now."

Kenzie smiled, "It's fine. I ramble all the time. Do you mind if I ask questions?" when Elizabeth shook her head Kenzie continued, "You said that she was 11 months old, yeah?"

"I knew I left something out. She was two months early. So I was only 7 months along when I had her. We were in the hospital for almost two months before they released her. Her lungs weren't fully developed and she couldn't regulate her body temperature. I basically lived in the local hospital in Cameron for those two months. Matt and Jeff had to force me to go home and take a shower while they promised to call if anything happened," Elizabeth explained.

"We didn't know that you were pregnant when you left," Kenzie said.

"No, I was only about two weeks pregnant when I was released. I'd asked my ob-gyn why you didn't catch it when I was in the hospital and she told me that you weren't really looking for it and it was too early to catch it. The main reason that PJ was early was because of the pain meds that I was given when I was in the hospital. It's a miracle that she survived those two weeks, much less 7 months. I didn't take a test until I was almost 3 months pregnant, but I knew that I was pregnant. I could just tell. I had taken myself off the pain medicine because I didn't want to hurt her. My physical therapist wasn't happy with me but I knew that she was more important that I was. If I was in pain I was happy because it meant that she wasn't being pumped full of drugs that could hurt her," Elizabeth explained further.

"How do you know she's mine?" I blurted out. I immediately felt bad when three sets of eyes all but glared at me. I saw the hurt flash through Elizabeth's eyes and the disappointment flash through Kenzie's, "Look I told you that I wouldn't hold what you did against her, but I need to know for a fact that she is my daughter."

"If you're asking for a DNA test, Vince already had it taken care of," Elizabeth told her with a shrug, "About 11 months ago, you had a random drug test, yeah?" I nodded, "Did you find it a little weird that they swabbed the inside of your cheek for a drug test?"

"Holy shit," I said.

"Stu got one too, just to be safe. But I knew when they told me they dates they thought I conceived her on that she was yours," Elizabeth said.

"Elizabeth, I know it probably isn't my place to be asking you this, but Heath told me that Stu attacked you this morning," Kenzie said and Elizabeth nodded, "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"Damn, I knew I forgot something," PJ shouted, making Elizabeth jump.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking. He just threatened me, nothing I'm not used to," Elizabeth said quietly as she looked to the floor.

"Just threatened you?" PJ said loudly, "It didn't look like he was threatening you. It looked like he was trying to rape you again."

"Can we not talk about this right now, PJ? This is about my daughter and her father and future stepmother," Elizabeth told him, "Kenzie, can I ask you something?" when Kenzie nodded Elizabeth took a deep breath, "Can you promise me that you will take care of little PJ like she is your own whenever she is with you and Heath? That you wont hate her because she isn't your biological daughter? That you'll love her because she is a part of Heath, no matter who her biological mother is? Can you please be another mother to her?"

I looked at Kenzie and I could see the tears in her eyes, "I would be honored," she said.

Elizabeth sat little PJ down on the floor and crouched down close to her. "Payson Jade Miller, you are the luckiest little girl in the whole wide world. Wanna know why?" She smiled and nodded, "Because you have two Mama's, me, and Mama Kenzie. Your daddy loves her and she will take care of you when I'm not around. Okay? You need to listen to her and your daddy no matter what."

"Two Mama?" PJ questioned, "One Dada? Two PJ?"

Elizabeth laughed, "Yeah baby, two Mama's, one daddy and two PJ's, you and Uncle PJ. He's the best and he'll always protect you, he's really good at that."

I looked around the room and I knew that my family was standing in this room with me. My family was finally back together and I don't think I could have been happier with the way things turned out.


	11. Chapter 11

**I am so so so so sorry that it's taken me so long to post this. My computer is on the fritz and currently only wants to work when it feels like it. I am in the process of getting a new one, which I will hopefully be ordering on Friday, my birthday. [:  
>This is slightly a short chapter but it has a HUGE HUGE HUGE surprise in it! I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think! I love reading your reviews!<strong>

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><p>"There's more," I said quietly, "I probably should have told you this right when I saw you. I guess I should have told you everything. I should have told you that I was pregnant, I should have told you where I was, I should have told you that PJ was sick, I should have told you that I was in Tampa when I called. I should have-"<p>

"Okay, we get it," PJ interrupted, "just get to the point because if you keep beating around the bush I'm going to go crazy. If you have something to say just say it!"

I looked around the room and only saw encouraging faces. I thought for sure they'd hate me. I think it would be easier if they hated me. I think it would be easier. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I was just about to blurt it out when my phone rang. I sighed before pulling it out of my pocket and checked the caller id. I could feel everyone staring at me as a smile the size of Texas developed on my face.

"Hi," I said as I answered, "I was wondering when I was going to hear from you."

"I just wanted to be sure that you were all settled in before I bothered you too much," my caller replied with a laugh, "Kinda what you did for me when I returned to TNA after my accident."

"I figured that," I told them, "You have no idea how bad I feel about this, but I have to let you go. I'm actually kind of, sort of in the middle of trying to explain, uhm, us. If that makes sense?"

"PJ and Heath?"

"Yeah, I told them, well kinda blurted out, everything except for- this. I feel so weird saying it like that," I said looking up from the floor, "and now I'm standing in front of three very confused people who are looking at me like I'm crazy."

"Which you are," the person said, "Well, I'll see you soon then. Tell that little rug rat that I've been missing her. I love you sugar."

"I will of course. I have stuff I need to tell you when you get here though. Which reminds me, when are you going to get here?" I asked.

"I already am."

This made me squeal, causing more confusion and a giant smile from my daughter, she knew what that meant. I saw her eyes widen in response and she giggled before saying, "Hurane?"

I nodded to her, "Then that makes telling so much easier. I think," I said uncertainly.

"Tell them quickly, I'm heading up to our room right now to drop my stuff off. I'll stay there until you give me the all clear," they joked.

"Aye, aye Captain. I love you."

"Love you too, Sugar."

I reluctantly hung up my phone and looked down to the floor. I wanted to get all my thoughts together before I just blurted it out, again. I don't really know if they necessarily needed to know, I mean, it doesn't really affect them and it's not like it can be undone. Well I guess it can, but I don't want it to be undone, we don't want it undone. Screw what every one else thinks about-

"Elizabeth?" a voice broke through my thoughts, "you're scaring them."

It was Mackenzie. I looked up and saw the worried looks PJ and Heath shared.

"Sorry," I said then just decided, "Oh, what the hell. I'm married."

Silence. Complete silence.

The other three adults looked stunned into insanity. Mackenzie looked as if she was trying to decide if it was a good thing or not. PJ looked like he was trying to say something but couldn't quite form the words. And then there was Heath. His face was trying to hide it but his eyes were showing the betrayal he felt. I hurt him, again. I'm not trying to, but it seems like everything I do, every decision I make, hurts him.

Just when I started to feel like the silence was too much to bear, PJ said, "I think I must have misheard you or something. Can you say that again?"

"Shut up, PJ. You heard what she said," Heath snapped, "Who? And how long?"  
>He was mad. His eyes, if it were possible were darker than I've ever seen them. For the first time ever, I was truly afraid of him. I stepped back and could feel myself reverting to how I used to be before I left. My eyes never left Heath's that were only growing angrier as each second passed.<p>

"Heath, stop," Mackenzie said softly before looking at me, "Elizabeth, you're okay. He isn't going to hurt you."

My eyes flashed to meet hers; they were much softer than Heath's. I calmed immediately and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I knew that, I knew he wouldn't hurt me. He might yell at me or give me the silent treatment but he would never raise a hand to me.

"We got married seven months ago," I told Mackenzie. I forced myself to keep my eyes on hers, I was too afraid to look at Heath or PJ.

"Do you love him?" she asked me.

I could stop the smile that pulled at my lips or the blush creeping up my neck, "Like you wouldn't believe."

"Does he treat you well?"

"Better than a princess."

"How does he feel about our little girl?"

_Our little girl._ She really is ours, all of ours. Heath's, Mackenzie's, PJ's, my husband's, and mine. The little girl has got to be the most loved little girl the world has ever seen. My smile grew even larger at that thought, "He absolutely loves her. He treats her like she's his own. He is so-"

"But she isn't his," Heath snapped again, "She's mine. She's my daughter, not his, mine."

"I know that, he knows that," I said.

"So I'm the last to know about my own daughter? I bet you even told Stu before you told me, didn't you? Who the hell are you? You aren't the same girl you used to be," he shouted, "Who is he? It's Stu, isn't it? I should have known you'd leave me to go to him. After all you did cheat on me with him. You are nothing more than a stupid whore."

"Heath Miller," Mackenzie scolded, "You're the one who came in here and said that Stu was just hurting her before you and PJ stopped him. You know better than to think she'd marry that man. She is not a whore and you know it, so don't you ever say that again. And as far as cheating, he pressured her and threatened her. She didn't go willingly."

"Please stop defending me," I said quietly, "I don't deserve it. I'm not a good person. I've done too many things that have hurt the people I love. But when I married Greg, it was a fresh start."

"How much does he know?" Mackenzie asked.

"All of it, everything," I told her.

She nodded, "How long have you known, uh, what's his name?"

"His name's Greg. We've known him just as long as we've known Matt and Jeff."

"Greg Helms? You married Greg Helms?"


	12. Chapter 12

**I got my new computer today! This is slightly short, but I wanted to give you something!**

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><p>"His name's Greg. We've known him just as long as we've known Matt and Jeff."<p>

"Greg Helms? You married Gregory fucking Helms? You do realize that's like, treachery, right?" Heath said.

I rolled my eyes, "Just because he worked for TNA does mean I'm committing treachery. He worked for the WWE before he worked for TNA anyway. And now he's retired so he doesn't work for anyone. And no, I didn't marry Gregory fucking Helms. I married Gregory Shane Helms, there's a difference.

"Wow, Elizabeth. Really mature," PJ muttered.

"So he's living off your money? He's a gold digger," Heath said.

"Bee, isn't he a little bit, uh, older than you?" PJ asked.

"Yeah, he's 12 years older than I am," I told them.

"That's too old," PJ announced, "You're not going to be married to someone who is 12 years older than you and is probably using you for your money."

"PJ, you know him better than that. He's not using me. He has plenty of his own money, he doesn't need mine. If anything, people would think I'm the gold digger. But I'm not, and neither is my husband. I love him."

"No," Heath said.

"No?"

"No. My daughter is not going to be around some stranger and calling him daddy. It's not going to happen. Either you leave him or I'll fight you for custody," Heath threatened.

"Heath stop," Mackenzie said, "It's not your choice who she marries. You can't take her daughter away from her just because you don't like the fact that she isn't with you."

My jaw dropped. I did not expect her to come to my rescue, or say something that blunt.

"I don't care that she isn't with me. I don't like the fact that she hid my daughter from me and that she has been letting this dude stay around my daughter," Heath said.

"Ya see, this, what you two are doing right now, the controlling me. Telling me I'm not allowed to do something, your attitude is the reason I left. I had no freedom at all. I never had a chance to breathe when I was around you," I said, "and she doesn't call him daddy. He said he didn't feel right letting her call him dad when you didn't know about her. It's not like it's your business anyway. It's my life and my daughter; you can't tell me who I'm allowed to be in love with."

"So you leaving was our fault? It had nothing to do with the fact that you couldn't deal with the things you did. Just face it, you ran from your problems like usual," Heath told me.

"And what was the last few things that happened before I left?" I shouted, "The man I thought loved me kicked me out like a fucking ring rat. I was attacked and put into a coma for a week. Woke up to find out that my brother got rid of my last connection to my dad and let me believe for 3 damn years that I could go back whenever I wanted. Oh, and that he told the two people I trusted most and they helped him keep it from me. So yeah, I'm blaming it on you. If you would have given me some room to breathe we wouldn't be in this mess. If you would have listened to me in the first place instead of jumping to conclusions then I probably never would have gotten attacked. But I did and if I had stayed then you would have never left me alone and that's all I wanted. You wouldn't let me take care of myself so I had to get away and do it on my own."

"See, this is what your problem is. You blame everyone else for your own mistakes. I didn't tell you to go to Stu's house that day. In fact, I wanted you to stay at home with me so that we could talk. But no, you had to run. And you ran right into the devils arms and slept with him. That isn't supposed to piss me off? You cheated on me! How would you have liked it if I had cheated on you? Huh? Would it have made you feel completely worthless? Would it have made you feel like you did something wrong? How about the fact that we didn't have sex for 5 months but you go willingly to him and sleep with him. No, it's okay that you completely shattered my heart, Elizabeth. I'll deal with it like I always do, I'll clean up your mess like usual," Heath yelled back.

"This just went way past the current issue," PJ said before I could say anything, "I don't agree with your leaving, but I can't say I don't understand why you did it."

"What?" Heath and I asked at the same time.

"I don't agree with the way you left. You gave us letters, Elizabeth. We had no idea where you went or if you would be safe. You have no idea what we went through. But you would be safe. You have no idea what we went through. But you are right; we probably would have smothered you. We care about you and we want what's best for you."

"But you don't know what's best for me. Hell, I don't even know what's best for me half the time. The only thing I know is that I love Greg and I love my daughter and I love my job. I'm happy with my life right now and I don't want you to stop be from being happy," I told them, "Heath, you moved on too. And I welcomed her with open arms, not knowing a thing about her. So please, don't tell me that I can't be married to himbecause I'm not going to leave him."

"Is it home? Is he home?" Heath asked me.

"In different ways, yes he is home," I told him.

I knew that Mackenzie and PJ didn't understand what we were talking about. It didn't matter to us, I knew what he meant and he knew what I meant. Heath was the only person who made me feel like I was home after my dad died and the only other time i felt like that was when I was in the ring. Greg makes me feel like I have a home and I love that feeling, being with Greg I am home.

"They say home is where the heart is," I said quietly, "My heart is with Greg."

Heath nodded in understanding and I knew he felt the same way about Mackenzie, I could see it in his eyes. Although, Mackenzie hit the nail on the head and she knew it.

"Are you done arguing now?" she asked, "Because I would really like to meet this Greg."

I smiled widely, "I'll call him now."


	13. Chapter 13

**You guys are getting so far ahead of me! But kind of reading my mind! Grrrr! [;  
>Enjoy!<strong>

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><p>After she called Greg, I had a feeling that something else was wrong. What Heath said to her, it really hit her hard, even if she wasn't showing it. If you looked in her eyes, you could see that she wanted to cry. I didn't want to say anything, but I knew I should eventually.<p>

"Bee, can we go out to lunch in a bit?" I asked.

"Of course," she said with a fake smile, "Let me introduce Greg and then we'll go. Heath do you want to spend some time with PJ? If not I can take her with me or Greg can watch her. It's up to you, I just want to give you some time before-"

She was cut off by a knock at the door.

"Before what?" Heath asked.

Elizabeth looked down at her feet, "I'm not going to be on SmackDown. I'm going to be on RAW."

Heath went to say something but another knock sounded. He threw a dirty looked to the door before I opened it.

"Gregory Helms," I said, "It's been a while."

"Yes it has," Greg said as he walked in. The first person he went to was my sister and I could tell that she was genuinely happy with him. He hugged her tight and whispered something in her ear that made her smile grow larger than I've seen it in a long time.

"Hurane!" a little voice screeched.

Greg laughed and picked up little PJ, "Hey there little one. Have you been good for your Mama?"

She nodded and smiled brightly. Greg hugged her to his chest and she wrapped her little arms around his neck as best she could before she exclaimed, "Dada!"

Greg laughed again and handed her over to Heath, "She's yours."

Heath just nodded, I could tell that he was speechless. A part of him was hurting and angry with Elizabeth for keeping PJ from him. Another part, from what I could tell, was indecisive.

"Sugar, you said you had something to tell me," Greg asked Elizabeth.

"Uh, yeah. Well, this morning I had a run in with, um, someone," Elizabeth said nervously.

"Oh for heaven's sake, Stu somehow got into her hotel room this morning," Kenzie blurted out.

"Elizabeth?" Greg asked.

"Yeah, how did that happen?" I asked.

"Well, I was in the shower and I heard a knock at the door. I figured it was PJ and PJ because they went out to breakfast before I got up and I didn't know if PJ had grabbed my room key or not. So I opened the door without looking and it was Stu," she said with a shrug.

"And?" Greg pushed.

"And nothing. He threatened me, pushed me on the bed, almost took my towel off, PJ came in and saved the day. Nothing happened," she told him.

"What did he threaten?" Greg pushed more. This guy is good, he knows how to get around her evasive ways, and I like it.

"Oh, ya know. The usual."

"Elizabeth, what did he threaten," he repeated, eyebrows raised.

Elizabeth sighed, "He knows about PJ. I don't know how, but he does. He said that he wanted to me to tell everyone she was his, I refused. Then the usual 'I want you to marry me' spiel that he does. That's all."

"Are you not worried that he threatened our daughter?" Heath asked incredulously.

"No. He'll never see her. I'm not going to be on SmackDown remember? And at pay -per-views or super shows, she'll be surrounded by everyone else. He won't hurt her, I know he won't. He honestly doesn't even care about her, except for that fact that she isn't his, but he won't hurt her," she told him.

"And you told him you were married, right?" Greg asked.

"Well, no. I didn't want to give him even more of a reason to hurt me."

"Do you plan on tell him?"

"I don't know. It's not like he needs to know. It's not his business what I do with my life or who I marry. The people that need to know do and that's all that is important to me," she answered.

"Who all have you told?"

"Do we have to get into this right now? Like can't we talk about it when there aren't other people in the room?" she asked, "PJ wants to go out to lunch with me and I am kind of hungry, since I didn't exactly eat breakfast. I was kind of preoccupied explaining everything, well most of what happened in the past 18 months."

"Fine. I wanted to get some sleep in before the show tonight anyway. Does Vince at least know?" he asked.

"Well, PJ and I are going to go. We'll see you all later. Heath, you good with PJ?" she announced, ignoring her husband who shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, we've got her. We'll keep her away from Stu too," he said.

"I don't think he knows what she looks like. And considering she looks nothing like me, and everything like you I don't think he'll be too suspicious. At least I hope not," Elizabeth said, "and I'm rambling again so let's just go to lunch alright?"

We walked Greg back to their room and Elizabeth put on some jeans instead of sweats. We decided to walk to a restaurant instead of driving.

"PJ, I just want you to know that it wasn't easy for me to just leave like I did. I know that you and Heath think that I didn't care, but I did. It hurt me just as much, if not more, to leave and not talk to you, but I knew that if I told you where I was then you'd try to make me go home," she said as soon as we got away from the hotel.

"I never said that you didn't care, just that you didn't understand how much you hurt us. But that's not what I want to talk about right now. I want to talk about what Heath said," I told her.

"No. I don't want to talk about it. What he said, it was true, all of it. He was right; I cheated on him and slept with some other guy after refusing him for almost 6 months. It doesn't matter the conditions under which I was placed, I cheated and I hurt him. No, it wasn't intentional but it happened," she told me with a shrug.

"But Stu forced you to. It's not like you went with the intention of sleeping with him," I reasoned.

"PJ, I love you for trying to make it sound like everything was Stu's fault, but it wasn't. I chose to pull into his driveway; I chose to get out of my car. If I hadn't done either of those things, none of this would have happened," she countered.

"Elizabeth, you can't keep saying that this is your entire fault," I said.

"I'm not saying that it was my entire fault. I'm saying that my actions have consequences that I cannot ignore. But, honestly now that I look back at it, I appreciate the way things have happened. If I hadn't done any of it, if I hadn't given in to Stu that night I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't have my wonderful daughter or my amazing husband. They are truly my life. I feel terrible about hurting Heath and a part of me will always love him, especially now that we have Payson. But he can't say he isn't somewhat happy with the way things have panned out. Taking out the pain I've caused, do you know if he would have chosen things to go any different than they have? Would he have been happier with me than he is with Mackenzie? We can't say that he would have, all I know is that we are both happy with our lives right now. Granted the way we got to where we are sucks, if I could I would take out all the beatings the Stu gave me but I wouldn't want to change a single thing in my life right now. I wouldn't trade what I feel now for anything in the whole world."


	14. Chapter 14

**The song in this chapter is 'I Miss My Friend' by Darryl Worley. Let me know what you think!**

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><p><em>I miss the look of surrender in your eyes, the way your soft brown hair would fall. I miss the power of your kiss when we made love. Oh but baby most of all, I miss my friend. The one my heart and soul confided in, the one I felt the safest with, the one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again and let the light back in. I miss my friend.<em>

I have a daughter, and a beautiful one at that. I have a fiancé, and an understanding one at that. I have a best friend, who I know will never leave my side. I have a job, one that I've dreamt about since I was a little kid. I have a family, who has supported me every step of the way. I have everything I could ever need and almost everything I could ever want. So why do I feel so empty?

_I miss the color that you brought into my life; your golden smile, those blue-green eyes. And I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now, saying it'll be alright. I miss my friend. The one my heart and soul confided in, the one I felt the safest with, the one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again and let the light back in. I miss my friend._

I'm not even sure when it started. It might have been when we found out what he'd been doing to _her._ It might have been before that because I knew in my heart that something was going on. It might have been that morning after the club. It might have been the day she came back to us. It might have been when she told us everything about her and Stu; their relationship, the proposal, the rejection. It might have been the night she came to me and told me she cheated on me. Or it could have been when I got the call.

That one phone call changed my whole life. _She _had been attacked in her hotel room and was unconscious. I barely remember the drive to the hospital or even the week _she _had been in the coma. I didn't have a clue what I'd do if I lost _her_. I felt like I was dying, I didn't leave her bedside. I wasn't worried about losing my job because _she _was the only thing that mattered. And then she left and my whole earth shattered around me..

_I miss those times, I miss those nights, I even miss our silly fights. The making up, the morning talks, and those late afternoon walks. I miss my friend. The one my heart and soul confided in, the one I felt the safest with, the one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again and let the light back in. I miss my friend._

My mom always told me that if you hold onto something tight enough, you'll never lose it. I thought that was what I was doing, but she never told me that if you hold on too tight you'll suffocate it. She never told me that if you held on too tight you'll squeeze it out of your hands and it'll leave you. I had held onto Elizabeth too tight and I had pushed her away from me.

Now, I had Kenzie. I was too afraid to hold on to her tightly, I wasn't holding on at all. I knew I was going to lose her eventually so I refused to let myself get too close to her. PJ told me that I could change that, that I didn't have to lose her. He said that if I wanted to keep her and love her I just needed to tell her that. So I proposed and we were happy for all about five seconds, because that's how long it was for Kenzie to tell _her._

I saw the look on her face and it nearly broke me. Then I realized that I was already so unbelievably broken by that girl that it was impossible and stupid to be broken by her anymore. I moved on, I did what she wanted me to do, I fell in love again. Elizabeth was right when she told me she wasn't good for me because all she knew how to do was hurt me.

_I miss my friend._

She proved that when she admitted to keeping our daughter a secret from me. The beautiful little girl who had my eyes and her mother's smile, it was impossible to not know who her parents were when you looked closely. Elizabeth proved that she wasn't good for me when she asked me not to hate our daughter, that she was the innocent one in our whole fucked up situation. As if I didn't know that, as if I could ever hate the little person who'd stolen my heart when I saw her run towards her mother the night i first saw _she_ was back. Did she really think that little of me? After being together for almost 3 years, did she know nothing about me? How could she think that I'd ever hate anyone who was a part of her?

But I do. I hate Elizabeth Ann Lloyd, I mean Helms, so much that it literally hurts to be in the same room as her. Kenzie and PJ don't understand because they don't feel the pain I've felt since she left that hospital leaving nothing but a fucking letter behind. They didn't feel the pain that shot through me when I heard Elizabeth tell PJ that Payson Jade was mine. They didn't feel the pain that I felt when she told me her full name and the memories that flashed behind my eyelids about the day we talked about naming our possible future children.

_I miss my friend._

I wanted her to hurt the way she hurt me. I wanted her to understand the pain I felt. I wanted her to know the hate I held in my heart for her. And I fully intended too, until she dropped the bomb that shattered my already broken heart. She was fucking married, to Gregory fucking Helms. Really? She left me to marry that motorcycle riding, pathetic excuse for a professional wrestler hick? Has she lost her goddamn mind?

I blew up after that. I let just about everything go and I all but forgot we weren't alone in the hotel room. I could have laughed when I saw the look on her face after I called her out on cheating on me. She didn't know how it felt, she didn't know how I felt. So I told her. And while doing so I managed to piss of Kenzie and PJ, but I honestly didn't care. Neither did Elizabeth because she knew everything I said was true, hell she didn't even defend herself, she let her brother do it. Again, she ran and hid behind someone else, let someone else clean up the mess she made.

It was then that I realized she never truly loved me. I was a safety net to her, she loved that I made her feel safe but she never fully loved me as a person. She probably didn't even really love Greg, he's just another safety net. At least she admitted that to me but being safe and feeling safe it's not enough to keep him. He'll break her heart, the way she broke mine. I will admit one thing though, I will not be the one to pick up the pieces again.

_I miss my friend._

He's too pushy. He bosses her around. He pries into her business. He thinks he needs to know absolutely everything. His personality is too much for her.

She doesn't like being pushed. She's independent. She is secretive. She doesn't know how to open up the way he wants her to.

I shouldn't be worried about it though. I shouldn't care about their relationship unless it is harming my daughter. I shouldn't be thinking about Elizabeth while I'm at lunch with my daughter and fiancé. I shouldn't be staring at my daughter and picking out all of the ways she reminds me of her mother. I shouldn't be betting on when they are going to get a divorce. I shouldn't be imagining that Elizabeth had never left. I shouldn't be daydreaming about how happy a family we could have been.

And if I tell myself enough times that I hate her, maybe I really will. If I tell myself enough times that I'm over her, maybe I'll be able to move on. If I tell myself I don't love her, that I never loved her, maybe I'll start to believe a single thing I say.


	15. Chapter 15

**Here it is! Let me know how you feel. I've been feeling a lot writers block on this story, so I'm sorry that it's taking me so long to update and if it's kinda sucking right now. I'm hoping for it to get better soon.**

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><p>"Greg, seriously it's not that big of a deal," I argued as I ran around our hotel room trying to pack PJ's overnight bag. She was going to be travelling with Heath, Mackenzie, and PJ for the next week and I was getting anxious to let my baby girl go, as I did every time she spent time with them.<p>

"Yes, Elizabeth it is!" he argued back.

We'd been arguing about the same thing for almost a week. He didn't understand why I wasn't worried. And I didn't understand why he was making a mountain out of a molehill. It wasn't the first time it happened and I knew it wouldn't be the last, not that I was going to tell him that.

"What if Payson would have been there? The last two times we've gotten lucky, but who says we'll be as lucky the next time he comes after you?" Greg reasoned, "and don't say there wont be a next time because we both know that there will be."

"He wont hurt her," I replied, "He doesn't want her, he wants me. "

He sighed in annoyance and flopped down on the large hotel room bed. The both of us were stubborn, but we were stubborn in different ways. Greg was open and wanted to know everything. I was standoffish and wanted people to butt out. But we fit together, the two of us. He knew how to get to me and I knew how to get to him. He let me take care of myself when he knew I was perfectly capable of it but took over when things became too much.

He was safety. I knew that, while he was around, I wouldn't get hurt and neither would my daughter. We meant too much to him. He had been there from day one, helping me and encouraging me. The day he asked me to marry him, I questioned his motives much like the way Heath and PJ did when I first told them I was married but I thought he was marrying me out of pity.

I was sure he only wanted to marry me because I was helpless, but he proved to me that it had nothing to do with that. He took amazing care of Payson and he proved that he could be a home for me, that's all I've ever wanted. Home is where the heart is, and Greg shared his heart with me.

"Elizabeth, in the three months since you've returned he's attacked you three times. The first time PJ stopped him and you were lucky. The second time you somehow fought him off, which I still don't know how you did it. And you changing the subject every time I ask about it is really frustrating me. The third time, I don't even know what the hell happened because you didn't even tell me about it, Heath did," he told me angrily.

I looked up to him with questioning eyes, "Heath told you? Damn him I told him to keep his mouth shut. I didn't tell anyone else about it, I wonder who else he told. Is that why you've been such a grouch, bringing up Stu in every conversation we have?"

"You didn't tell anyone?" he all but shouted, eyebrows raised.

I went to answer him but the knock on our hotel door stopped all thought. I answered it to find Heath and Mackenzie standing on the other side. I gave a thankful smile towards them, silently thanking my luck for their timing.

"Hey, I'm almost done packing her up. Come on in while I finish, maybe ya'll can get his mind on something else so he'll quite jumping down my throat," I said not so quietly.

"I heard that," he mumbled as we walked back towards the main room.

"You were supposed to."

Mackenzie laughed at our antics but was stopped when Heath shot her a look, "What are you arguing about?" he asked.

"What a big, fat, secret telling mouth you have," I answered.

"Well, I'm sorry that I was looking out for you but I'm worried about my daughter. I don't like that he apparently has such easy access to you. Literally, he's got friends every where. He knows when you'll be alone. It's like he's got a hidden camera everywhere you go," Heath complained.

"Oh stop being so dramatic. Nothing happened and PJ wasn't with me any of the times," I told them.

"Wait," Mackenzie said, "Did Stu go after you again?"

"Yeah, but don't worry. Nothing really happened and luckily Heath was just around the corner and stopped anything from going any further than they were," I explained, "I asked him to keep his mouth shut but apparently he doesn't know how to listen. Not that that's anything new."

"I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about this, Elizabeth," Heath shrugged, "I did what I thought was right and I'm not going to apologize for that. If it got you in trouble with your husband, that's not my problem. You should have been the one to tell him that you were almost rapped, again."

I rolled my eyes as I put the last of PJ's things in her suitcase and zipped it up, "I think she is starting to teeth so I packed some children's motrin and orajel. She really likes those teething rings that you put in the fridge. Please keep her with you as often as you can and as far away from Stu as possible," I told Mackenzie.

She nodded, "You know I'll do anything to keep her safe."

I walked over to the travel crib set up in the corner of the room and looked down at my sleeping daughter with a smile on my face. She was so beautiful but looked so much like her dad that it physically hurt to look at her sometimes. The days I missed Heath were the hardest days to look at her but also such a comfort to me as well. I wanted with everything that was in me to tell him how I felt, but I knew that it wasn't fair of me to do so. I didn't deserve him, I wasn't good enough for him, I hurt him with almost every decision I made.

I felt a presence behind me, looking over my shoulder, and I knew immediately who it was. This is what I wanted for the rest of my life. To be looking at my daughter with her father, the only man I would every truly give my heart to fully, standing behind me. Sometimes I would have dreams about what it would have been like if I hadn't left, if I hadn't run. But I couldn't turn back now, too many people would get hurt. Greg, Mackenzie, our daughter, Heath. I could take the pain, I've taken much worse before, but I couldn't put the people who cared about my daughter and the man I loved in pain. I wouldn't let them feel what I feel on almost a daily basis.

So I'd hide it. I'd hide my true feelings and as happy as I can with Greg. I'd hide the pain I felt when I saw the love Heath had for Mackenzie dancing in his eyes. I wouldn't share this pain with them, they deserved to be happy.


	16. Chapter 16

I sat on my hotel room bed, with my best friend next to me pretending to not be interested in my phone ringing on its speakerphone. He knew why I was calling Elizabeth, he was the one who brought it up to me in the first place and if I were to be honest with him, I agreed.

"_Pauly,"_ she answered. Heath gave me a confused look that matched my own.

"Bee, when did you start calling me Pauly again? You haven't called me that since before Dad died."

"_I don't know. I get confused when I say PJ because it's like I'm talking to Payson. It feels weird calling either one of you PJ. It was easier when I was away because you weren't around constantly,"_ she answered, and if I were sitting in the same room as her I knew she would have been shrugging as she said it.

"Okay, I guess that makes sense," I said slowly, "But I have something I want to ask you."

"_Ask away big brother."_

"Well, it's not so much as a question, more of a statement," I began.

"_Oh for the love of everything holy, PJ if you have something to say then just say it."_

I smirked and held in the laugh that wanted to break through. This was the Bee that I knew when we were growing up, this was the girl we'd all missed. And at that thought I almost didn't want to have the conversation I was about to have with her, if she was going to go back to who she used to be then maybe we should just leave it be. I looked at Heath and could tell that he was contemplating the same thing I was, but when he shook his head I knew that he was right.

"You don't love him," I said simply. It was an answer and a statement all wrapped in one and I could tell by the sigh that came through from the other side of the phone that she didn't want to talk about it.

"_Greg, I'll be right back. I'm just gonna take a walk and talk to my brother," _ I heard her muffled voice call, _"PJ if this is the reason you called then I'm not going to even try to keep a conversation going with you. He's my husband."_

Heath smirked at me and I realized that she hadn't denied it. I decided to change the subject, making a mental note to come back to that simple fact.

"Fine. We won't talk about your marriage," I said with a fake sigh, "How about we talk about something that we haven't talked about at all? Like being pregnant." Heath's ears perked up when I said that, I knew that he was dying to know what she went through but didn't have the courage to ask. He was afraid that she'd turn him away.

"_It was the best, yet weirdest feeling in the entire world,"_ I could practically hear the smile in her voice as she spoke, _"I was only a week or two pregnant when I left the hospital and the doctor Beth dragged me to said that since they weren't really looking for it, it was virtually impossible to detect. She also said that we were extremely lucky, that with all of the pain meds I was on and being in that coma for a week, it could have affected the baby' s health. I didn't have much morning sickness, but if Matt or Reby would cook bacon in the mornings I would always get sick. Eventually, if they wanted bacon they'd have to go to Jeff's." _ She gave a soft chuckle at the memory and I laughed with her while Heath just stared at the phone, waiting for more information. He was fixated on my phone as if it held all the secrets to living forever.

"When did you first feel her moving around? Did you get any funky cravings?"

"_I could feel her flipping just after I was three months along. It was so cool. It felt like I was on a rollercoaster that never ended the way my stomach would feel like it was dropping whenever she'd flip. The first time she kicked, I was sitting at home alone because everyone had gone out for the night. As soon as I felt it, there was only one person I could think of that I truly wanted to be there with me to feel it." _She stopped and sucked in a breath, I knew she was wishing she hadn't said that last part. When I looked up at Heath I could see that he was fighting to control his emotions.

"_I got so many cravings but they weren't too weird. The one that I couldn't ever have though were those mince meat pies Heath's mom used to make at Thanksgiving. I swear, I wanted one of those every single day. Beth and Jeff made one for me but it wasn't the same, they didn't have the touch Mama Miller has. I think the weirdest craving I had was for cotton candy and popcorn, at the same time. Thankfully there was a carnival in town so Greg bought me some fresh off the popper and twirler."_

"Oh yay, Greg to the rescue," I said without any enthusiasm.

"_PJ, please don't be like that. He's my husband and he's been an excellent role model for Payson. He cares about her and he treats the both of us right,"_ she groaned.

"Are you sure he treats you right? Because every time I've seen you together, you've been arguing. Now, I may not be the best at relationships, I mean I let one of the greatest girls in my life go because I was being too nonchalant about my sister disappearing, but if you argue all the time I don't feel like that's the best way to treat each other."

"_Paul, stop. It's none of your business what goes on in my marriage. Yes, we argue but you don't know the basis of those arguments." _ Of course she would defend herself, now of all times.

I sighed and shook my head. I didn't agree with her at all. The arguments they had were because she wouldn't open up to him. And I knew that she wouldn't open up to him because she doesn't love him, not the way she loves Heath.

"Okay, Bee, I'm sorry," not really, "It's just that, i feel like I know you pretty well. At least well enough to know that as much as you care for Greg and as much as you appreciate him taking care of little PJ, you don't love him. You haven't given him your full heart. I feel like you're using him as a security blanket. You don't look at him the way you looked at, other people you've been in love with," I told her.

"_Just because he isn't Heath doesn't mean I look at him any differently. I may still love Heath, sure, but I will always love Heath. We have a daughter together, PJ. Do you know the kind of bond that puts between us? I've told you before, I will never stop loving Heath, not ever. But I can't openly love him. He is happy now and I refuse to take that away from him. I refuse to break his heart any more than I already have. He has Mackenzie now. I can't keep hurting the people around me just because I change my mind. It's not fair to them. Now, if you're done being a jerk and bringing up things I don't want to talk about, I'm going to hang up and get back to my husband,"_ she answered.

"Alright, I'll let you go. But before I hang up, I want to point something out to you," I said.

"_Go on."_

"Earlier, I said something about you not loving Greg. You never once denied it. In this conversation, you never once told me that you love him. You did however, tell me that you're still in love with Heath. What does that tell you, Bee?" I asked, "I think you need to figure a few things out because you can't string Greg's heart along if you aren't going to love him the way you should."

"_I'll learn to love him,"_ she replied before hanging up the phone.


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you for the awesome reviews for the last chapter. It really means a lot to me to know that you are loving this story! All of your reviews give me motivation to keep writing!**

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><p>"She'll learn to love him? Learn to?" Heath practically yelled at me, "That's the kind of example she wants to set for Payson? That doesn't even make sense PJ. You can't learn to love someone. Either you love them or you don't."<p>

"I know that, Heath. She knows that too, but you know Elizabeth. She's acting on guilt right now. She hates that she hurt you, even if she doesn't exactly show it the way a normal person would. I don't know why she married him, though. It's obvious that they are two unbelievably different people," I told him.

He sat back down on the couch and put his head in his hands. He was so worn out, I didn't know how he was even awake right now. He hadn't been sleeping well since he caught Stu attacking Elizabeth, and now that he and Kenzie have little PJ for the week it's gotten worse. He keeps looking over his shoulder whenever he goes anywhere, afraid that Stu will try to take her away. We all know he won't though, it's just like Bee says, he doesn't want Payson he wants Elizabeth. He's also not stupid enough to attack the little girl.

"Can't we just smack some sense into her? She's out of her fucking mind right now. Her and Greg aren't going to be together long. I think he's cheating on her, I don't have any proof yet, but I'll get it," he promised.

"And what's going to happen when they get divorced? Payson loses someone she's close to?" I asked.

"If he is only going to hurt Elizabeth then why should he be allowed to be close to Payson? She doesn't need that kind of influence," he countered.

I had to agree with that. If they fight all the time then what is that showing Payson? That all couples argue? It's not a healthy relationship at all and I think Bee knows that, she is using Greg as security, she all but admitted that to me over the phone. But, I think Greg is using her as well I just don't know what it's for.

If Heath is right, about him cheating on her, he'll be a dead man. I can guarantee that.

"Heath, are you doing this because it's right for Payson or do you have some other reason? Because if you do then that's fine with me, but there's another person in your life that is going to be affected when Greg and Bee get divorced," I commented.

"Don't go there PJ. I'm looking out for Payson's best interest, and it's not in her best interest for Elizabeth to stay married to Greg. I also think Elizabeth should get back on SmackDown. Payson shouldn't be shuffled between the two of us all the time, it's not fair for her. She'll be all confused and worn down. Or, maybe Elizabeth should just move back to Tampa. I mean, she shouldn't be working right now anyway, not with Payson being so young. The traveling must be so hard for her," Heath ranted.

"You do realize that if Bee were here right now she'd kick you in the nuts, right? Are you really suggesting that she should quit her job? The only thing that brought her happiness for such a long time. You'd be taking away all of her reasons to be happy," I told him, "She isn't with the man she loves anymore, the man she just admitted she'd always love. And you're willing to tell her to pack up her bags and go home? Maybe she was right to leave you."

"You think it's my fault that she left? I'm wrong to want what's best for my daughter and her mother? I'm wrong for caring about their health? That doesn't even make any sense PJ. If anyone is to blame for her leaving, it's you. You're the one who lied to her about your dad's land, you lied to her for three years. That's when she made us leave and wouldn't let us come back. If you hadn't lied to her she probably would have been in our lives for those 18 months. We would have at least known where she was and she definitely would have come home after finding out she was pregnant, she wouldn't have hid my daughter from me," he shouted.

"I know that I fucked up, I realized that. But what I'm saying is that you only think about what you want. You don't give her opinion a second thought because you think that you're always right. Elizabeth has a right to choose what she wants to do for a living. If she had wanted to stay at home all the time she wouldn't have left Cape Town and the two of you wouldn't even have a daughter. She would probably still be with Stu and we wouldn't even know that he abuses her. You cannot smother her, you can't tell her what you think is right and expect her to believe it as well. She needs time to grasp things in her own hands," I shouted back.

"She can't handle herself, Paul. Stu has somehow gotten to her three times since she's been back. She needs someone who can take care of her 24/7. Greg isn't the person to do that, obviously," he replied.

"And who is the right person to do that? You?" I laughed, "Heath, you couldn't take care of her before, what makes you think you can now? And on top of that, do you really think Kenzie is going to let you just take Bee in? I know that they 'get along' and are 'friendly' but do you seriously think either would be okay living under the same roof? Basically you're suggesting you marry both of them and I'm pretty sure that neither one of them is into polygamists."

"How in the hell did this turn into a conversation about me being a polygamist? Which I'm not, by the way. I'm just saying that Elizabeth and I will always have a connection, we have a daughter together. That bond is never going to go away. We'll share birthdays, Christmases, thanksgivings, Easters. Every important holiday, we'll be around each other," he explained as if I didn't know any of this.

"And how will Kenzie feel when she finds out that the mother of your first child is still very much in love with you and just admitted to me that she'd never stop loving you? Have you asked Kenzie how she feels about any of this? I mean, she's going to be your wife in less than two months and she won't ever be able to give you your first child," I pointed out.

"Maybe not, but she could give me my first son," he argued.

I shook my head, he wasn't grasping what I was saying. If Bee and Greg get divorced, Kenzie is going to feel threatened, and more so than she is probably feeling right now. She'll always be worried that Heath is going to go back to Elizabeth. I'm sure she's seen the way he still looks at her, as if she hung the moon and the stars personally. She'll always feel inferior to Elizabeth because she was and always will be Heath's first true love.

I couldn't make him understand, at least not now. But hopefully, before he possibly makes the same mistake my sister did, I'll be able to show him what I mean. Yes, people will get hurt in the process. It's a part of life, everyone gets hurt now and then. But if not for the pain, what else could make us stronger? What else could make us fight for what we want and truly deserve?

Bee doesn't think she deserves love anymore. I blame that mindset on Stu. He's beaten her down so far that she can't see how much she has to offer anyone. So she opts for safety instead. She puts feeling safe in the place of feeling love, that's why she's married to Greg, that's why they got married so quickly. While I agree that he can keep her safe, they don't love each other, and while Elizabeth will be faithful to him, I cannot say the same thing for Greg.

Maybe I can show them both that they are wrong. Maybe I can prove to Bee that she deserves so much more than she believes, that she's worth so much more than she can imagine. I know that she loves Heath and even if Heath doesn't admit it, he loves her just as much. They need to do what's best for their daughter, as a couple. They need to put their heads together and agree on what they're going to do. The sad part is that, Elizabeth can't be alone in a room with Heath to come to any sort of decision, she's afraid that the walls she's so skillfully built up around that part of her heart will come crumbling down the second they are close enough to touch.


	18. Chapter 18

**I hadn't planned to go in this direction with the story. The thought honestly never crossed my mind until a certain person's review. That is kind of a spoiler I guess, but thank you for the idea.**

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><p><strong>Elizabeth's POV<strong>

I sat on a bench outside of the hotel, mad at myself for telling PJ that I was still in love with Heath and all but admitting that I wasn't in love with Greg. But honestly, how did he expect me to not be in love with Heath? He's the one who stuck with me through it all, I left him. Gosh, I'm such an idiot.

I shook my head and stood up. Sulking wouldn't help me any. I somewhat believed what I'd told PJ, about learning to love Greg. People do it all the time, so why can't I, right? I mean, it's not impossible or anything. Heading back to my room where Greg was waiting for me, I talked myself into committing myself to Greg. It was best for Payson. Or at least that's what I told myself.

When I got to our room I sighed as I opened the door.

"Elizabeth is that you?" Greg called from the bathroom.

"Yeah, I'm back," I answered.

He walked out into the main room and pulled me into his arms, "What do you say we get away for a few days? Huh? I mean, you have the weekend off, Payson is with her dad. Let's do something, just you and me."

I looked up into his eyes and saw a glint of something I didn't recognize. I smiled as I thought about his proposition, "Where would we go?"

"Well, we could go to your place in Tampa. Or back home to Cameron. We could even find some kind of resort somewhere for the weekend," he suggested.

"I haven't been to Tampa in a while, why don't we go there? I'll go book a flight for the two of us," I said.

"That sounds perfect. I'll get packing and we'll leave as soon as you're done."

It took around 15 minutes to find a flight and then another 30 for Greg to pack all of our things, he wouldn't let me help at all. I felt giddy as we bored the plane almost two hours later, we hadn't really had any us time. Before we got married I had a bowling ball in my stomach and after, Payson was always around; it was going to be good for us to get away from the stress of work and life drama.

When we arrived in Tampa, we called a cab and had it take us to my apartment. As I entered it, I was bombarded with flashbacks of the last time I'd been here for any extended period of time. Heath and I had argued, I ran away to Stu, I cheated on Heath. He hates me now. I furiously shook my head of those thoughts. This trip wasn't about Heath, it was about Greg and I.

And I smiled as I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist, automatically thinking it was Greg. I leaned back into his chest, enjoying the peaceful silence. We stood like that until he put something in my mouth before wrapping a scarf across my lips. I fought to scream, but it only came out as muffled moans.

"Settle down babe," Greg whispered in my ear, "Just play my little game. I think you'll like it, I know I will."

A shudder ripped through my body as I felt his breath on the back of my neck. He walked around in front of me and pulled me flush against his chest. When he leaned down to kiss at my neck, I closed my eyes in pleasure and moaned loudly. Greg ground his hips against me before backing away from me. I felt another pair of hands grab onto my wrists and roughly tug them behind my back, tying them together with a rope. That's when I started to panic.

I looked at Greg who had an evil smile plastered to his face. He pulled a knife from his pocket and began cutting at my shirt. When he was satisfied, I was left wearing nothing but my bra and a pair of jeans. My hands pulled against the rope, rubbing it against my skin. Whoever stood behind me reached around in front to unbutton and unzip my jeans, making sure to rub his hands along my stomach, caressing the skin.

I chanced a glance behind me and stopped breathing for the longest moment of my life. A million questions raced through my mind, but none of them would be answered. I did my best to get away from him. I ran as fast as possible with my hands tied behind my back, but they eventually caught up with me, tripping me to the floor.

"Be a good wife to me," Greg told me as he crouched down close to me, "If you play with us then no one will get hurt. You wouldn't want us to go after your precious little daughter would you?"

My eyes widened and I felt my chest contract. Greg was the one who told, Greg was the one who was in on it the whole time. I thought I could trust him, but he turned out to be just like the others. I wanted to speak, to scream, to call someone and ask them to help me, but with the gag in place that plan wasn't even a possibility.

"Let's not scare her too much, yet Greg," an English accent spoke, "We don't want her to plan her escape just yet."

The two laughed as the first of my many tears fell down my cheek. Just when I thought that I'd gotten out, that I'd broken out, I find out I married a man who was working with Stu Bennett. Just as I that thought entered my mind, everything around me went black and the last thing I saw before it took over was my daughter in her father's arms.

**PJ's POV**

After Heath left my hotel room, I was feeling a little guilty about my conversation with Bee, mostly because she had no idea that Heath was listening in. I called her back, but her phone went straight to voicemail.

"_You've reached Elizabeth Lloyd-Helms, sorry I can't come to the phone right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I have time,"_ her voice recording said.

"Hey, Bee. It's me. I'm sorry for being such a jerk earlier. I shouldn't have pushed you to admit that you still love Heath, and I probably should have told you that you were on speakerphone and Heath was sitting next to me. I know you're probably going to pissed at me and everything, but we are only looking out for your best interests. I don't think Greg is a good match for you, I just, I don't know. Call me back when you get this, or when you get over being so mad at me for it. Just remember that I love you and I will always be here for you. Bye, hun."

After I hung up, I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong. A feeling that I decided to fight off, not know that miles away my sister was in danger.


	19. Chapter 19

The next morning I woke up with a headache that hurt so bad I was sure I'd be sick. At first I thought it was just a bad dream, Greg wasn't an evil man and Stu wasn't in my apartment. When my eyes adjusted to being awake, I looked around and realized that not only was I not in my apartment, I also was not in a hotel room. Trying to sit up, I pulled at my hands but found they were resisted, handcuffed to the pole on the bed.

My body shivered against the cold air surrounding the room and I noticed that I was only in my bra and panties. Everything started to sink in slowly and I played the last thing I remember them saying over and over again in my head.

"_Be a good wife to me. If you play with us then no one will get hurt. You wouldn't want us to go after your precious little daughter would you?"_

"_Let's not scare her too much yet, Greg. We don't want her to plan her escape just yet."_

Another wave of nausea washed over my body and I clamped my eyes shut, willing it to go away. Greg had threatened my daughter. Heath's biggest fear was right, they would hurt Payson if I didn't cooperate. They knew that she was the one thing on this planet that I would do anything for, even this. Nothing would stop me from keeping her safe, even if that meant hurting myself in the process.

I heard the squeak of a door open and the sound of heavy feet against the carpet floor. I let my eyes close gently and tried to slow my breathing, hoping whichever one it was would believe that I was sleeping. I needed to prepare myself before they started hurting me, I just had to clear my mind of everything and remind myself that this was going to keep my daughter out of harm's way.

"I know you're awake," a southern voice spoke, breaking the silence, "Open your eyes beautiful, I want to talk to you."

I tried to roll over, to put my back towards him, but the restriction on my hands made it impossible. I kept my eyes close and simply shook my head. I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't want to look into the eyes of the man who betrayed my trust. I couldn't think anymore, my brain was at a standstill. I couldn't trust myself anymore and I was tempted to just call Heath and tell him that I was willing to sign over my rights, it wouldn't solve anything though. And I knew for a fact that I'd never be able to give up my daughter.

A hard sting against the inside of my upper thigh made my eyes jolt open. Greg was standing next to the bed, leaning over my slightly and when I looked at my leg I could already see the red hand print starting to welt. His hand cupped my chin, forcing me to look at him and I had to swallow the lump that was suddenly lodged in my throat. How had I let him talk me into believing he cared? How could I not see that he wasn't to be trusted? How could I have put my daughter in danger by marrying this man?

"I said, I want to talk to you," Greg repeated.

"Not right now," I pleaded, which only made him smirk.

"See, that's the thing baby. You don't get a choice," he laughed, "Here's the thing. If you follow directions like a good girl, everything will go over perfectly. If you don't, not only will you be hurting, but your daughter will too."

"Don't touch her," I growled.

"Don't give us a reason to," he said before leaning down and kissing me hard.

I tried to fight against him, but there wasn't much I could do without my hands. I started to panic when he climbed on the bed and straddled me.

"Why are you doing this? Why do you want to hurt me?" I whispered.

He trailed his hands from my chin all the way down to my hip bone and back up again. My body shook violently against his touch.

"I like to be in control Sugar," he replied with a shrug, "This is how this weekend is going to go. You'll stay here with me and Bennett. I'm thinking about calling you in on Monday, saying you're violently sick with some kind of flu and won't be able to compete-"

"No, Greg you can't do that. Monday is the super show, it's the only day I get to see Payson this week," I interrupted.

"Don't you mean it's the only day you get to see Heath?" he asked me.

"No, I mean it's the only day I get to see my daughter. You can't take that time away from me," I told him.

"Again, you think you have a choice in this. Babe, Stu and I are in charge," he reminded me, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way. You cooperate, it'll be easy. You argue, it'll be hard and you won't be the only one paying the consequences."

"Greg, just please give me Monday. Please," I was begging at this point, but I didn't care I wanted to see my daughter.

"I'll talk it over with Stu and we'll think about it," he said with finality, "For right now, I'm going to bring in your breakfast and then we're going to take a nice hot shower."

I just nodded, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. The pain in my chest grew with every word he spoke. I had trusted him, and now I didn't know who I could trust.

A minute or so later, Stu walked in with a tray of food and sat it on the bed next to me. I looked between the two of them, expecting one of them to unlock the handcuffs and allow me to eat but they just smirked. My stomach grumbled as the smell of the food reached my nose and both men laughed in response before they began feeding their faces. I stared at them in disbelief, trying to figure out what they were doing. Stu must have been watching me out of the corner of his eye because he was the first person to say anything.

"Oh, did you think you were going to eat?" he asked me before scoffing, "You thought wrong Princess. You seem to have gained a bit of weight since the last time I saw you like this, so we're limiting your intake. Greg told me that you've been eating anything you can get your hands on lately, so obviously we planned this at just the right time. If we'd done it any later, Vince would have fired you because of how fat you are."

Greg laughed loudly, as if what Stu was saying was funny. I looked at my stomach self-consciously, knowing that Stu was right. I hadn't lost all of Payson's baby weight, even though I'd spent hours in the gym working out. Beth and Reby said I was imagining things, but there were obviously wrong.

"And don't forget those stretch marks on her love handles," Greg added.

As they finished their breakfast, they continued to make jokes about my weight. I knew that they knew how it was affecting me, I just hoped that my brother would realize what was going on before it was too late.

Greg took the tray from the room after they'd eaten everything that was on it, leaving me alone with Stu. The look he was giving me made me feel sick all over again. He reached towards me from the other side of the bed and I tried to move away. I wasn't fast enough because he caught a hold of my ankle and pulled me towards him.

"Stu, please don't do this," I whispered. He ignored me and I felt his fingers trailing up my leg. I wanted to pull away but his other hand still held onto my ankle, squeezing harder each time I pulled. As his hand reached my center, my body was confused. My head knew this was wrong, that I shouldn't be enjoying it. But my body was enjoying the attention.

"Well, well, what have we here?" Stu smirked as his fingers slipped under my panties, "Don't deny that you want this Elizabeth. This right here is all the proof I need."

My mind was screaming when he dipped a finger into my warm core, but my body reacted and my back arched trying to pull him in deeper. A second finger joined the first and I couldn't stop the moan that slipped from deep in my chest.

"Listen to your body," I heard Greg say. I hadn't even noticed he was back until I saw him standing at the end of the bed. "Let your body take over, Elizabeth. You know you want us, don't fight it."


	20. Chapter 20

**Holy cow! Thank you Kizzyfur for your idea, because it was apparently amazing! You are the greatest!  
>Thank you everyone else for all of your reviews! I really appreciate them!<strong>

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><p>"Heath, I'm telling you, something is wrong," I said. We were sitting in catering at the arena for Monday Night RAW's super show. Elizabeth hadn't called me back after I called her Friday night and her phone went straight to voicemail every time I called her this past weekend. When I got to the hotel earlier this morning I asked if she had checked in but they said she hadn't yet. I got half a nerve to call Vince and ask if he knew where she was.<p>

"PJ, I'm sure it's nothing. She's probably pissed at you for the phone call and embarrassed that I was listening. I'm sure that's why she didn't call to see how Payson was. Or she trusts us enough now," he replied.

I glared at him. He obviously didn't care that the mother of his daughter seemed to be missing. Did he not remember that we've only just gotten her back in our lives? Not only that, but Elizabeth wouldn't have gone a whole weekend without checking in on Payson.

"She'll be here. She probably just needed some time away from you two being assholes to her," Kenzie tried to assure me.

Just as she said that, I saw Elizabeth walking in the doors. I stood up and ran to her, pulling her into a hug. She tensed at first but relaxed against me holding me just as tight as I was holding her. Something was different about her, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"PJ," she breathed, she sounded relieved.

"I was so worried about you. I'm sorry about our conversation over the phone and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you Heath was listening," I rambled, "Why didn't you answer your phone all weekend? Why didn't you call for Payson?"

"I, um, my phone broke and I haven't had time to go get a new one. We, um, we went to Tampa for the weekend, and I guess I got caught up. I'm- wait! Did you just say that Heath was listening?" she went from nervous to angry in about five seconds.

"You didn't get my voicemail?" I asked.

"No, I just told you I was in Tampa all weekend and didn't have my phone on me," she said.

I looked into her eyes, slightly confused. She was lying to me, either her phone was broken or she didn't have it on her. Or neither. Something was wrong. Was she even in Tampa?

"Bee, he still loves you too," I whispered.

She shook her head, "It's not enough. We can love each other all we want, that doesn't change our current situations. Can we just, I don't know, stop this conversation? I want to see my daughter and I need to talk to Heath, about Payson not about him and I."

I nodded and we walked back to the table where Kenzie and Heath were sitting. I saw Elizabeth smile when she saw her daughter sleeping in Heath's arms.

"Elizabeth you made it," Kenzie said with a smile.

"Of course I did," Elizabeth responded, "Why wouldn't I have made it?"

"PJ was overreacting. He was freaking out thinking something was wrong. Obviously he got worked up over nothing," Kenzie explained with a laugh.

"Obviously," Elizabeth said, but I could tell by her tone that she was uncertain about something, "Look, I'm sorry that I didn't call this weekend, I lost my phone on our flight to Tampa. We haven't had time to get to the store to get a new one yet."

That was the third lie about her phone in less than ten minutes. What the hell?

"I was just about to go lay her down in the locker room," Heath told her, "Want to come with me?"

"Yeah. I had a question to ask you about her anyway. I'll see you guys later?" she said looking at Kenzie and I.

"Absolutely," Kenzie answered.

We watched them leave, neither of them saying a word.

"All that worrying for nothing," Kenzie joked, I nodded slightly. It wasn't nothing. "PJ, can I ask you something? And please don't lie to me."

"Ask me anything, I won't lie, I promise."

"Does Elizabeth still love him?"

I looked at her, unsure of how to answer. "Yes. They have a daughter together, that's a bond that will never go away."

"No, that's not what I mean. Is she still in love with him?" I took a deep breath and I knew she took that as my answer. "Is he still in love with her?"

I saw the tears in her eyes as she looked down at the ring on her left hand. She knew the answer to that question without me having to answer. Her heart was breaking. I felt my chest tighten as she took the engagement ring that Heath gave her off her finger and handed it to me.

"Don't leave, Kenzie. Don't leave him," I pleaded.

"I can't marry him when he's still in love with her. He'll never stop being in love with her and I can't compete with that. He won't ever be happy with me the way he can be with her," she told me.

"Kenzie, she's married. And apparently she isn't looking for a divorce any time soon."

She shook her head, "It's not about her. Well, it is but it's not about them being together right away. He won't love me the way he loves her. He won't ever look at me the way he looks at her. Even when I'm around, if she's there all of his attention goes to her."

"So you're going to walk out of his life, out of Payson's life, without a word. You're going to give me the ring to give to him and expect me to break his heart?" I asked.

"It won't break his heart," she said with a sad smile, "I'm setting him free. He's free to openly love her now. He doesn't have to try to hide it anymore."

With that, she stood up and walked out of catering. I knew that was the last I'd ever see of Mackenzie Taylor. She was walking out of our life for good and no one was here to stop her.

I looked down at the ring in my hand. I hated knowing that I had to hurt my best friend. He would be devastated when he got back to their hotel room to find her gone. All of her things would be gone, she would walk away from him, disappear just like Elizabeth did. His heart wasn't going to be able to take it.


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm actually really proud of myself because I had this finished yesterday, I didn't put it up because I wanted to give you all time to read the last chapter.  
>I've posted a new story, it's called How To Love. I've gotten some really positive feedback for it, so if you're interested please take a look!<br>As always, thank you for all of your reviews!**

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><p>"Heath, I'm really sorry that I didn't call this weekend," Elizabeth said for about the fourth time since we left catering. I rolled my eyes, here we go with the damn apologizing again.<p>

"It's fine. I understand that you lost your phone," I assured her, "You were always misplacing things. I see that hasn't changed."

"Sadly no," she said. We were sitting in a private room Vince had set up for us. He was so willing to give Elizabeth everything she needed even if she didn't ask for it and most of the time she didn't.

"Heath, can I borrow you for a second," PJ said, poking his head in the door.

"Yeah sure."

When I joined him in the hallway he couldn't look me in the eye. He would look everywhere else, except my face.

"Did you leave Kenzie in catering?" I asked.

"No, she left me. And she left you," he told me.

Time stopped. He must have been joking. Why would she leave me? Nothing made sense anymore. Kenzie was gone? No, I wouldn't let her walk away like I did Elizabeth, I wouldn't give myself something else to regret for the rest of my life.

"She said that you were still in love with Bee and that you wouldn't ever love her the way you love my sister. She said that she can't compete with Elizabeth anymore. And that she was setting you free to openly love Elizabeth and you didn't have to hide it anymore. She also gave me this," he said holding out his hand to show me the 5 carat engagement ring I'd given Kenzie almost three months ago.

I leaned against the wall and slowly slid down it. My life was crashing down on me again and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't argue with Kenzie's reason for leaving me, she was right. I was still in love with Elizabeth and I always would be. But that didn't matter now, she was married to a man she didn't love.

The only good thing in my life right now is my daughter. I looked up at PJ and nodded to him. I knew he understood what I was saying. I would be alright, I would survive this just like I survived Elizabeth leaving. This time it would be easier, I had Payson. I stood up and walked back into the little office-turned-nursery for the night. Elizabeth was standing next to the travel crib, just watching Payson, but somehow she looked different, she looked smaller.

"Liz, are you eating right?" I asked. She didn't answer me, instead she just looked down at our daughter.

"Heath, I need to ask you to do me a favor. I know that I don't even deserve it, but I need you to do this for me, if not for me then for our daughter," she whispered.

"I'd do anything for her, you know that," I told her, leaving out the fact that I'd also do anything for her as well.

She sniffed and turned to look at me, allowing me to see her tear stained face, "I need you to take Payson and get as far away from here as possible. I need you to go into hiding, just until I can get myself out of the marriage I'm in and then I'll take her. Please, Heath. If you can't do it I understand, I'll just ask my brother. But I'd really like it to be you."

Again, time stopped. "What is going on? Why do you need her in hiding to get a divorce?"

That's when she completely broke down. "I'm such an idiot. I never should have left and I'm so sorry that I did. You were right, they're going to go after Payson if I don't listen to them, if I don't give them what they want. But if I can divorce Greg then PJ and I can go to Cape Town or somewhere else in South Africa. I can hide there until, well I don't know how long I'll have to stay there. But before I leave I'm going to Vince and I'm going to ask him for help. I can't keep putting the people I love in danger."

"Elizabeth what are you talking about? What did Greg do?"

"He was the one who told Stu about little PJ. He was working for him all along. That's where I was this weekend, well I don't know exactly where I was but I was with Stu and Greg. They didn't hurt me like Stu used to do but they did- why is it so hard to tell you this?"

"What did they do?" I pressed.

"It's not important. I can't get pregnant again, at least not right now. They don't know that, but I think that's what they're trying to do. If you need to, bring Kenzie with you. I just need to know that Payson is safe," she pleaded.

"I won't need to bring Kenzie with me," I said, pulling the ring out of my pocket and showing it to her.

Elizabeth gasped and looked at me guiltily, "Please tell me it's not my fault. I'm so sorry Heath. I really liked her. She would have been good for you."

"It's not your fault, pretty girl. I promise. It's my fault. I really liked her too and she would have been good for me, but she wasn't who my heart wanted and she knew it, even when I didn't," I explained with a shrug, "And stop apologizing. You've been doing so well."

"I know," she said looking at her feet.

Her stomach growled loudly and she put her hand to it.

"You haven't been eating," I stated.

"They wouldn't let me. I haven't lost all of the weight I gained from being pregnant and they said that I couldn't eat until all of it was gone," she told me sadly.

I gaped at her. How was she so oblivious to the fact that she was indeed smaller than before she left? All she had on her was muscle, although her breasts were a bit larger than before. She looked amazing, but I could tell she didn't think so. They were breaking her down again and I refused to see her go down that path again.

"Let's go to Vince now. We'll tell him what's going on and then we'll hit the road. He can get your divorced finalized and everything else you'll need. Don't stay here, please. Come with me and Payson," I suggested.

"They'll be looking for us together. It'll be easier if we separate. I promise I'll tell Vince, I just need to be sure Payson isn't around when they find out. They can hurt me all they want, but I won't let them hurt our daughter. Just go, I'll find you when I get out. If you need to call me, use some kind of payphone. That way he can't track you. Please Heath, take our daughter and keep her safe," she begged.

I nodded before pulling her into my arms, silently telling her that everything would be okay. I let her go and packed up my gym bag along with Payson's diaper bag. Elizabeth picked her up, waking Payson up.

"Mama," she said sleepily.

"Hey, baby. Listen, you and Daddy are gonna go away for a while. But, I'll get you when I can. You're gonna be fine, I promise. I love you baby girl," Elizabeth cooed, her voice quivering and I knew she was trying not to cry. She wanted to hold herself together and not scare PJ.

I walked over to them, again wrapping my arms around them. "We'll be back together soon. The three of us and we can be a real family."


	22. Chapter 22

**Risking sounding completely creepy, I enjoyed writing this chapter. And the inspiration it's given me for future chapters...  
>Yeah, it's creepy, I know. Don't judge. [;<strong>

* * *

><p>"Hey there beautiful."<p>

I cringed when I heard his voice, then his footsteps as he walked up behind me. I quickly wiped away the tears from my face. Not five minutes ago, I'd said goodbye to my daughter and the man I truly love. I had to keep telling myself that it was for the best. This way it wasn't possible for them to hurt my daughter.

"What are you doing out here all by yourself? You never know who might be waiting for you," he said. I could hear the smirk in his voice, he was baiting me. But I wouldn't bite.

"I was just seeing Heath and my daughter off," I said coldly.

"Well no need to be so hostile, sugar. I'll take care of you in ways Heath wouldn't even be able to dream about," his breath heavy on the back of my neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

I didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want him to be around me. I just needed to get as far away from him as possible. Everything they did this weekend came flooding back to me. The touching, the teasing, the cruel words. They didn't hurt me bad enough to leave bruises but everything hurt.

My chest hurt the worst. Every so often it would tighten and I wouldn't be able to breath. I felt like I was suffocating and the only thing I could feel was coldness. Then it goes away, like nothing was wrong to begin with. But I know that everything is wrong.

"Greg get off me," I hissed. It didn't help any, he only tightened his grasp.

"Now, now that's no way to treat your husband," he chuckled.

"I hate you," I said through gritted teeth.

"That's not what you said at our wedding. You said you'd love me forever, 'til death do us part'."

He was mocking me now. Taunting me, trying to make me lash out. But I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't give them any kind of opportunity or reason to actually hit me. Not this time, it wouldn't be my fault ever again.

I already had a plan forming in my head. I started thinking about what I was going to do when they'd leave me alone. The first step was already complete; get my daughter to safety. I'd given Heath plenty of money to get to the address I'd given him. He said he didn't need it but I wouldn't take no for an answer. I wasn't going to make him pay for my mistakes. I sent him somewhere that no one even knows exists except for me and PJ, my brother.

I smiled to myself as I thought about how much fun my daughter was going to have where she was going, how much fun Heath was going to have. Somehow I'd have to get the news to my brother that Heath didn't actually kidnap my daughter. He'll understand, even if I just tell him where they are. The only thing I'd have to do is say her name and he'll know I'm in danger.

Just my luck, PJ was walking towards us. I wrestled myself out of Greg's grip long enough to give my brother another tight hug. Intuitively, he knew something was going on with me. And subconsciously I'm sure he knew exactly what was wrong with me.

"Hey, Bee," he said softly, "Have you seen Heath?"

I cleared my throat, making sure that my voice wouldn't quiver as I spoke, "I just saw him and Pay off. He said they were going to see Mandisa."

PJ's eyes grew wide as they connected with mine and I could feel Greg looking at me strangely as my brother and I had a silent conversation. Nodding slightly, PJ responded, "I haven't seen Disa in quite some time, do you know how she's doing?"

"I talked to her a few weeks ago. Remember that surgery she had a while back? They were taking out some of the tumors?" PJ nodded, "Well, a couple came back. Now they're figuring out a way to get rid of them for good."

"Who's this Mandisa chick?" Greg grunted.

"Mandisa Debbes. She was our father's friend's older sister," I explained, leaving out the most important part of, well, everything.

"And where is she now?"

"Around. I'm not really sure, Heath didn't say exactly," I mumbled.

"So you're letting our daughter go who knows where? You don't even know where they'll be? What kind of mother are you," he practically yelled.

"Our daughter? No Greg, she isn't OUR daughter. She is MY daughter with Heath, not my daughter with you. I trust her father to keep her safe," I growled.

I could tell by the look on his face that I'd gone too far, especially in front of PJ. I wasn't going to have a good night when I got back to our hotel room, I knew that for sure.

PJ looked between us nervously, "Bee, can I borrow you for a quick minute? I got some news from back home and I wanted to tell you, in private."

"Greg, I'll be right up," I said looking at the ground, "I'll see you in a minute."

"Hurry it up," he growled in my ear as he hugged me, I only nodded in response.

As soon as Greg was out of ear shot, PJ pulled me even farther away from the hotel. The look on his face told me he knew something was wrong, it was also telling me to assure him that he was overreacting, that his gut instinct wasn't right.

"Why are they going to see your-"

"Shhhh," I chided, "Don't say it. They don't know, no one knows."

"Elizabeth tell me what the hell is going on because if you don't then I'm going to Mandisa and I'll ask Heath myself," he said.

I rolled my eyes, I'd actually prefer him to be at Mandisa's as well. "I can't tell you everything right now, but I will when I get the chance. All I can tell you right now is that PJ wouldn't have been safe if she stayed with me. Heath was right to be worried about the threats."

His eyes widened as he comprehended what I was saying, "He'll hurt her?"

I nodded, "And he's not the only one. I've got a plan though, a very complex plan that I'm going to need your help with. I need you to talk to Vince, explain what's going on. I need his lawyers, I need divorce papers and I need restraining orders, a lot of them."

"Are they hurting you?" he asked, his voice pleading with me to tell him no.

"Not like before. Just in different ways," I said quietly.

I was done lying for him. I wouldn't let him break me down any more. I wouldn't let him run me off anymore. This time I wasn't going anywhere I was going to stand and fight. Until I won, then I would go away. I'd go to the man I love and our daughter and we'd be a family like it should have been in the very beginning.

"I have to go, Peej. I'm in enough trouble as it is right now for the way I spoke to Greg," I told him sadly, "Be careful. I don't know what they'll do."

"Don't go then. I'll take you to Mandisa, we can go now," he offered.

I gave him a sad smile, "Heath said the same thing earlier. But I can't leave yet. I have to finish this once and for all. I know what I'm doing this time, I can take care of myself this time."

"But if they're going to hurt you-"

"I can deal with what they do to me. I can't deal if they hurt my daughter or my brother or the man I love. This is what has to be done for now. If my plan works, I'll be safe in a few weeks, two months at the most. I swear PJ, it has to be done this way," I explained.

He nodded, but the light in his eyes was diminishing as he realized that I was putting myself in danger for those I loved, yet again. I was going to let them hurt me for him, for Heath, and for my daughter. He would never agree with it, I knew that, but he'd always appreciate it and tell me that there was no way he could repay me.

And I agree, nothing is going to take away the memories of what they'll do to me in the coming weeks, I already knew that. I already accepted that. I was already being haunted by what they'd done this past weekend. I might never get over what they've done and I'm sure are going to do, but this is what I need to do to protect my family.

It's only for a little while longer. I'll let them play with me. I'll let them please themselves on me. I'll let them do whatever sexual act they want on me, just like I did this weekend. It'll be over soon and I'll be reunited with my daughter again.

That is what kept me going. Seeing my daughter, safe, alive, happy. Payson Jade Miller is what would make this horrible, traumatic experience worth it. If not worth it, then at least she gives me a reason to live through what they'll do.


End file.
